11-11-11Asylum Pictures

Bravo.  Bra-vo, Asylum Pictures.  You have finally fooled me into watching one of your mockbusters, thinking it was the original I was going to watch.  And since the original had been released to DVD for some time, and your title having such a subtle difference…well, job well done, there.  One day you shall be revisited all the pain that was foisted upon me when I watched this…this thing.

Turns out, the big difference between this and the original’s title, is the dashes used between the 11’s in the original, and the back-slashes used in he Asylum mockbuster.  See?  BIG difference!

Okay, so I can’t really speak about the plot of the original for a comparison.  To tell the truth, I didn’t really have much desire to watch the original to begin with.  It was just…there for the watching.  And since I was handed this instead, I actually sat through it.  And what I got was perhaps the saddest rip-off of The Omen I’ve seen in, well, ever.  And that includes the Winona Rider travesty Lost Souls.

Yeah.  Essentially a family of three movie into a small California town, as the father’s the new professor at the college, and it turns out their 10-year-old son is the key to opening the gats of Hell on his 11th birthday.  And certain key members of the neighborhood are in on the secret, and try to bring about Armageddon by protecting the boy.  And the crazy old lady who lives next door tries to prevent said Armageddon by repeatedly trying to kill the kid.  And the closer he gets to his birthday, the weirder the kid acts.

Ye gads, I really needed the extra-strength industrial sized bottle of Ibuprofen long before the end credits rolled on this movie.  Seriously, 11/11/11 basically chop-shops the various plots and ideas from way better movies than this; The Omen and Rosemary’s Baby being the obvious two.  But, there’s some rather laughable attempts at bringing in pseudo-Biblical numerology in there (never heard of the number 11 being “Satan’s number” before), and a scene where all the town’s conspirators are gathered in a smoky van pledging their allegiance to the Dark Lord (Lucifer, friends call him Lucy) that had me rolling in laughter.  Tie this all up with very horrible acting from the first moment, a rather tedious pacing, unintentional laughs and a budget quality that’s barely above Shot On Home Video quality, and boy HOWDY you’re in for some pain.

Thing is, though, 11/11/11 falls under the So-Bad-It’s-Good category of bad movies, which is something that Asylum has on their side.  So yeah, grab some friends and some snacks, and pop this thing in.  Don’t’ say I didn’t warn you first, though.