children of the corn 1984New World Pictures

“Outlander!   Outlander!  We have your woman!”

A young couple find themselves stranded in the rural town of Gatlin, Nebraska, where they encounte3r a mysterious religious sect of children.  But nowhere in town are there any adults.  The horror grows to a blood-curdling climax as the two new visitors learn the horrifying secret behind the prospering corn fields.

I know that I’m going to get some flak for this, but I still remain flabbergasted that the Children Of The Corn managed to not only garner such a fan base, but happened to spawn as many sequels as it did.  Well, okay, maybe not as mystified as I should be. But, let’s face it. The original Children Of The Corn was rather mediocre at best.

So, for those of you who have yet to check this flick out, Children Of The Corn is about a road tripping couple – one of which is a pre-Terminator Linda Hamilton – who break down in a remote rural Nebraska town (yeah, that’s the kind of pub we need, thanks) where the kids have offed all the adults, and take their orders from Amish Damien and worship “he who walks between the rows.”  The movie plods along, as we experience acting that is barely B-level grade and a story that’s drawn out with little actual scares or barely an atmosphere, until you get to the big climactic ending, which by then falls a bit flat, and you’re just glad it’s over so you can go on with whatever you call a life.

Ugh.  Children Of The Corn was just slow, dull and rather pointless really.  The children in here aren’t even that creepy, which works against the whole nature of the movie’s premise.  By the time I got to the end credits, I couldn’t shut off this movie fast enough.  I remember watching it back in the summer of 1989, what I like to call my misspent youth…but I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything about it, save for it not looking anything like a small Nebraska town.  And I know my small Nebraska towns, here.  After rewatching it for the sake of getting a review on it, I can’t say that it’s better this time around.  Should have just re-read the short story instead.  Final verdict of the movie is a solid “meh”.