HALLOWEEN - ResurrectionDimension
2002
R

“Let the dangertainment begin!”

Laurie Strode is paid one last visit by her brother Michael Myers at the sanitarium she’s been at since the end of the last movie (if I was in that stink bomb, I’d sign myself into a nut house as well). Mercifully offing Laurie early on in the film (my guess is so she didn’t have to face the humiliation of being part of this watered-down sequel), he heads back to his childhood home for some good ol’ R-n-R. Only, when he gets there, he finds a group of “teenagers” with web cams strapped to their detachable heads, filming an online reality show based on Michael’s home. What’s an exploited psychopath to do? An attempt at wackiness…and Busta Rhymes…ensues…

First of all, it must be said that, given the last couple of offerings, the Halloween franchise simply must be redesigned back to its original concept to maintain any form of viability as a classic series. Not that many of the sequels can even hold a candle to the original John Carpenter classic…it’s just this and the last movie prove that you can’t take a formula that worked somewhat with the mindless Scream WB-teen-of-the-month PG-13 pap and make it work for a character that has a history its own and is beloved by horror fiends worldwide. STOP HOMOGINIZING MY HORROR FOR THE TEENIEBOPPERS, DAMMIT!!!! Okay, deep breaths, here…

Basically, I went into this movie thinking that, somehow, the Halloween franchise would be given a fresh lease on life, so to speak. That, and I wanted to see how they explained Mikie surviving getting his head lopped off at the end of H2O without resorting to the “Oh, it wasn’t really him Laurie killed” cop-out. Well, after the first ten minutes, and realizing that yes, they resorted to the cop-out, my hope slowly died, along with Laurie on the big screen. Why? Let me tell you…

Obviously, with a premise of a bunch of people staying in the house of Michael Myers, and recording it on web cams, when the serial killer in question pops in expectantly, it’s just ripe for many juicy and wonderful suspense-heavy and bloody Ten Little Indians-like moments. On that level, it did succeed, as the POV shots from the main players and the dark atmosphere of the house added to the tension nicely. And the kills…oh, my. Nicely done.

And that’s about the only great things about the flick, really, as the screenplay is nonexistent (it’s like they were given bare-bones suggestions, and told to wing it), the young cast mostly annoyed me with their insipid dialogue, and Busta Rhymes…ugh. You talk about miscasting. Mind you, nothing against the guy and his acting career (I enjoyed him in the Shaft remake), but here it’s like he’s trying to be the big tough guy comedy relief. AND HE LIVES!!! WTF?!? There’s a scene where he runs into Michael, and starts spitting out poser crap at him that normally would have resulted in his death rattle…but NOOOOOOOOO. All Michael had to do was snap the punk’s neck like a twig and move on. Instead, Busta wound up making an arse of Mike, and that just didn’t set right with me.

To be fair, from what information I’ve gleaned on the ‘net, it seems that mucho substance was cut from the original script, leaving us with merely a guy in a mask killing people with web cams strapped to their collective person. If that’s enough for you, fine, have at it. Enjoy. As for me, I will continue my rage against Dimension Films for slowly and methodically ruining horror as I know it…