…and now, to lighten up the mood, I present to you something that was inspired a few days ago by a friend’s post on Facebook. Here is:

 Uncle NecRo’s TOP TEN GUILTY PLEASURES: Hair Metal Edition 

10) “Bang Your Head (Metal Health)” (Quiet Riot)


…and at Number 10, we start off with what is arguably the song that helped usher in the so-called “Hair Metal Movement”. Yeah, it’s big, it’s beefy, and it tends to get cranked whenever it comes on the radio, or the MP3 player, and the fist gets pumping along with the chorus.


9) “Hey Stoopid” (Alice Cooper)


…okay, technically Alice Cooper is “shock rock”, but back in the late ’80s and the first part of the ’90s, he was firmly ensconsed in the commercial hair metal style. And the video to the title track from 1991 has all the trappings. Great song.

 8) “Round And Round” (Ratt)


…pure L. A. sleeze, with a fantastic hook and dripping machismo. Almost makes you overlook the late, great Milton Berle in drag. And I do believe that butler is much more METAL than this video deserves.

 7) “Here I Go Again” (Whitesnake)


…another band that never started out as a hair metal act, per se, David Coverdale regardless tried to bring his flagship band Whitesnake into that trend with the self-titled 1986 album, and this reworking of their song “Here I Go Again”. Yeah, it was all over the place in junior high.

 6) “Up All Night” (Slaughter)


…this is a song that just begs to be cranked, while cruising around at night in your car with the windows rolled down. Never mind that it’s the dead of winter, and the only two people out at that time are you and maybe the county Deputy.

5) “Smokin’ In The Boy’s Room” (Motley Crue)


…sure, there are more in the Crue’s song list that I could have chosen from, but it’s this cover song off of their third studio album that is the true, hands-down hair metal guilty pleasure here. And the video is just as cheese-a-riffic fun as the song, too. And yes, that’s the guy from the original The Hills Have Eyes movie.

 4) “Pour Some Sugar On Me” (Def Leppard)


…it’s a shame that all that’s played nowadays is this “Video Remix” version of the song; the album version is what I prefer. Ah, well. Whatever version, the intro always gets me scrambling to crank the volume. Never mind that the lyrics make no logical sense. Actually, that would be the perfect metaphor for the 80s all together, come to think of it.

3) “You Give Love A Bad Name” (Bon Jovi)


…the first few months of my seventh grade year, and Top 40 radio ushered in Bon Jovi’s finest hour with this first of many singles off of Slippery When Wet. I dare you to try and not sing along with this.

2) “Nothin’ But A Good Time” (Poison)


…and in the end, isn’t what these songs are all about? *ahem* You know, for a band that was mostly gimmick and barely talent, this tune from probably their only actual somewhat decent album pretty much nailed the near-perfect party anthem. And who doesn’t want to have Poison rocking outside your place of employment, whenever you kick the back door open in frustration…or for a smoke break.

1) “The Final Countdown” (Europe)


…admit it. Every time this song comes on, you immediately begin singing along. Or at least lip syncing to it. Once that opening synth riff kicks in, this audio herpes will be stuck in your head for DAYS, leaving you a whimpering mess. You’re singing along to the video clip right now, aren’t you? AREN’T YOU?!? I know I am…

::END TRANSMISSION::

Advertisements