BRIDE, TheColumbia Pictures

“A woman should do as she pleases, just like a man.  You taught me that.”

After Doctor Frankenstein creates a mate for his “monster”, Viktor, the doctor assembles Eva, who promptly rejects the male creature.  Viktor heads out to find happiness elsewhere, eventually teaming up with a wise and helpful little man who is on his way to join the circus.  Meanwhile, the doctor finds himself attracted to his female creation and sets about teaching her to be a proper Victorian woman.  Unfortunately it’s highly likely that he hasn’t seen the last of Viktor!

I remember as a young lad, staying up late to watch television was a very rare occurrence. In this instance, I was watching Friday Night Videos – a weekly music video show that was a big deal for us would-be hip farm-dwelling Nebraska farm kids who only had broadcast television with no access to MTV – only half-paying attention to the commercial breaks, when the commercial for The Bride played.  Instead of wondering if I was going to see a Duran Duran video or not (it was 1985…ask your parents), I was suddenly transfixed by the dark Gothic imagery, especially the brief glimpse of Sting staring in wonder and awe at what looked like a body cocooned in white bandages being zapped by lightning high above him in a cavernous lab.  My eleven-year-old mind was blown, and I was hooked.  I suddenly wanted to watch this movie.  I also knew that, being only eleven, there was no way I was going to be seeing this in the theater, or even renting it, any time soon.  Had to be content with a movie tie-in book that my sister got from her Weekly Reader book buying thing in grade school.

Flash forward a couple of decades, and after forgetting this remake of The Bride Of Frankenstein even existed, I stumble upon it as a free streaming movie on Hulu.  So, braving the commercial breaks they stick in there, I went ahead and watched The Bride, more to satisfy my nostalgic brain than anything else.

Overall, I’d say that The Bride was a decent remake, though having not seen the original doesn’t give me much for a comparison.  It’s definitely an example of the 1980s trying to recreate the Gothic feel of the old classic Hammer flicks.  It seems a bit slicker than that, though; and the movie just takes its time really getting to any scary parts for those of you more into the visceral scares in the horror genre.  Matter of fact, The Bride goes more for atmosphere, with its shadows and darkness and era set pieces.  The conflict here, really, comes more from Sting’s Dr. Frankenstein trying to teach the female creature how to be a proper English lady, meanwhile his original creation didn’t take the rejection from the first part of the movie well, so he went off and joined the circus.  Seriously.

What we got with The Bride is nothing really that memorable, a pretty well-shot period piece that is good on atmosphere images and…not much else, really.  We get a younger, Euro-mulleted Sting trying to be an actor, and for the most part is passable in his role.  Not much here to warrant a second viewing, all apologies to my younger self.