Transformers07DreamWorks SKG
2007
PG-13

“A necessary sacrifice to bring peace to this planet. We cannot let the humans pay for our mistakes. It’s been an honor serving with you all. Autobots, ROLL OUT!”

The All-Spark, the cube-shaped thingamajig that sparked life into the machine planet Cybertron, has been located on Earth, and the Autobots are hot the Decepticon’s trail to be the ones to locate it first. Caught in the middle is young Sam Witwicky, who has the coordinates of the All-Spark imprinted on the glasses of his Great Grandfather…

Many of the cartoon-and-plastic idols of my childhood that I look back on fondly are getting repackaged nowadays, it seems. Looking back, I mean sure, most of ’em were little more than 22-minute toy commercials with a plot (sort of); but oh, what toy commercials they were!

Transformers, those giant robot imports from Cybertron (a distant machine planet that had “Made In Taiwan” stamped on its rear sector) that turned into various vehicles, appliances and…um, other stuff, was one of the Big Three that called out to me early every morning, working better than any alarm clock ever would. So, yes; I was one of the attendants at the big live-action movie that had a nostalgic investment (some would say “baggage”) going in. So, how does it stack up?

Well, as a movie in and of itself, I bought my ticket expecting your typical Michael Bay-helmed summer movie: Big robots, adrenaline-pumping action, explosions, off-the-scale battles, and somewhat palpable dialog. You know, your usual check-your-brain-at-the-door-and-enjoy-yourself kind of escapism movie. And on that end, I got that in spades. The bots were awesome, very nicely done. The ‘splosions were big, and the battles massive. Of course, the characters, story and dialog were a bit on the campy side, but let’s face it. If anyone was going into this movie expecting an Oscar-winning character-driven drama were sorely misdirected by their ticket-taker. And if you bought the DVD expecting this…well, you’re just stupid.

All in all, the live-action Transformers movie was a darn fun ride, I felt it did justice to my inner cartoon fanatic. It helped ignoring all the fanboy whining that ensued the minute this movie was announced. Just check in your brain at the door, and enjoy the fun…