nymphoid brbarianTroma Films
1990
NR

“Sometimes my juices start to flow and I feel like a nymphoid barbarian in dinosaur hell.”

Usually, when you see a movie with the Troma label, you knew you were in for a bad movie, but it was in the vein of so-bad-it’s-good. The kind where you tell everyone you know, “This movie is terrible! You must watch this!” Even the titles themselves lend a certain campy ambiance, just in case you didn’t happen to see the Troma stamp upfront. This is a company that rejoices in providing fun Z-grade camp to us twisted masses.

Sometimes, though, something slips through that, ironic as this may sound, doesn’t even live up to Troma standards. Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell is one of these stink bombs.

The story in this movie is “in a post-Armageddon world, a young woman finds herself in a fight for survival against mutant cavemen, dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals.” At least, that’s what the DVD description tells us. In reality, though, that little blurb tells you NOTHING about the movie. Matter of fact, the title itself is one of the biggest misleading examples of false advertising I’ve seen. She’s not a “nymphoid” (which isn’t even a real word, but I’ll give it a pass, considering my own habit of making up words), not a barbarian, and hardly any “dinosaurs” to speak of.

What this does give us, is a very drawn-out, slow paced “action” movie devoid of much dialog, cheesy effects, a rather confusing plot and perhaps the most laughable stop-motion rendering of the dinosaurs when they actually decide to show up in the movie. One gets the feeling this was actually made in the early 1980s, due to the costume styles (and the mullets…this movie has mullets), with the expository introduction filmed and tacked on much later for it’s actual release in 1990. Even that opener has nothing to do with the movie.

So, bottom line, yes: A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell is a terrible movie. But, it’s not the worst terrible movie I’ve seen. The misleading title did it’s job well, as I watched it because of that. However, if you’re not a fan of bad movies, and especially anything under the Troma imprint, steer clear of this steamy pile. Watch this only if you have a very strong and uncontrollable addiction to really bad, cheesy movies. Like I do.