zombienationbigLions Gate Films Home Entertainment

“Is it safe?”

A psycho cop with a weakness for killing his female arrests gets what’s coming to him when a pack of zombie women rise from their graves in order to get proper revenge.

Apparently, there’s no measurable depth to my self-loathing. Judging by the movies like this that feature in my regular movie watching, I must have some inlaying need to atone for some kind of horrible sin or transgression I don’t know about. Because, my wonderful freaks, watching Zombie Nation is an exercise in mental self-flagellation.

There are so many things about this movie that come together to make Zombie Nation one of the most painful watching experiences I’ve seen outside of one of those home video movies. This is an actual film, but the overall quality comes off as one of those uber-amateur crapfests I, for some odd reason, pop in more times than I care to admit. But, I’m getting ahead of myself, here.

First of all, zombie movies are one of the genres that is kind of hard to screw up. Zombie Nation screws it up, most notably by not introducing any zombies until the last thirty minutes. So, for an hour or so, we’re treated to kind of a psycho cop movie, featuring one of the most confusing and ham-fisted character performances ever. See, this cop tends to go off on women for no real reason, be it a speeding stop or having one headlight brighter than the other, or whatever. The flashbacks that attempt to explain this guy’s behavior only serve to bore you to tears. And pad up the running time, I’m sure. Oh, and he also owns a furniture outlet warehouse. Or something. Then, the bodies of the women he killed are brought back from the dead via some kind of convoluted voodoo ritual that only adds more confusion to this bubbling cauldron of suck. And how many zombies do we get in a movie titled Zombie Nation? Five. Five whole zombies. Zombies that can talk, run, vamp, and drive. What they can’t do is convince me these are so-called zombies.

Which bring me to the acting. See, the maker of this film happens to be German, trying to make this come off as American. You can probably guess that it doesn’t work very well. Include the fact that the main character claims to be from Alabama, and the unintentional hilarity escalates quite a bit, there. Add to this the inclusion of what seems to be actresses whose only other acting credits may or may not include, um, let’s say adult films. You get the idea.

Overall, in an attempt to not dwell on the memory of this movie for the sake of this review, all I can say is Zombie Nation came off as a result of too many ideas crammed into one pot, resulting in a big sloppy mess. B-grade horror movies can be a lot of fun. Zombie Nation isn’t. Make sure you pass this one up at the rental place.