The titillating, terrifying, and hilarious tale of a woman plagued by dreams of being a vampire. But are they just dreams? And will she wake up before her sleazy husband drives her crazy?

Another in a seemingly long line of excruciatingly bad ultra-low budget video movies I’ve been seeing, I Dream Of Dracula pretty much hits all the “bad” buttons here — bad acting, bad sets, bad score, bad editing…just bad everything, really — and then cranks all that schlocky badness until it’s buried in the reds, until you realize too late that this is so unredeemingly bad that grasping a crucifix would burn your flesh after viewing this.

The story involves a lady who’s being haunted by dreams that may or may not indicate that she’s a descendant of a vampire species. Meanwhile, her douche bag of a husband — who seems to have a thing for bad wigs — and her psychiatrist are secretly plotting to make her think she’s insane so they can run away together. Or something. Meanwhile, a couple of female vampires are going around draining various members of the community (inexplicably naked most of the time) as part of a master plan to draw the poor girl back to the vampire fold. I think.

It got more than rather painful to watch this thing. It was a like a constant barrage of hurt, and in a bad way. Contrary to the description blurb, I Dream Of Dracula is neither titillating, terrifying, or hilarious. Just painful. Throw some holy water on this and move along…