KnowingSummit Entertainment

“What happens when the numbers run out?”

Nicholas Cage is really beginning to piss me off. His choice of movie rolls as of late have made me begin to question his ability to make good decisions regarding his career (and, in effect, my quality of entertainment), and wonder if he needs some kind of intervention. The kind that involves baseball bats.

In the over-hyped Knowing, we find Nicholas Cage at his most detached, acting-wise. There’s no chemistry whatsoever with his costars, which consists of mainly a kid. Not that the other adult featured in the movie oozed charm herself, mind you…

The plot itself is just headache-educing (um, I should maybe point out that there’s SPOILERS AHEAD, so proceed with caution): A girl in the 1950s jots down numbers given to her by mysterious voices, which is then placed inside a time capsule. Fifty years later, Nick Cage’s kid just happens to get that list after the capsule is opened, and Nick’s scientist character deciphers the numbers as dates of doom. In one night. While drunk. Seems all of the dates predicted have already come to pass, all but three. So we go from lethargic Nick Cage to bewildered and excitable Nick Cage, Wicker Man-style, trying to stop the remaining disasters. Somehow the daughter of the girl who wrote the numbers in the first place gets involved, then they realize that the final date is when the Earth gets blowed up by a freak solar flair, and then their kids get picked up by waxy aliens and taken tot he planet of fluffy bunnies and wavy grass of happiness before the Earth gets flash fried. Oh, and small black pebbles factor in there somewhere, though I’m still hard-pressed to explain how they do. Much like the majority of the plot, here.

So what we have is a movie that starts off as a slow moving psychological thriller which, after a couple of nicely done disaster scenes, turns into a sci-fi movie that’ll make you wonder if this wasn’t secretly funded by Scientology. Or a rejected M. Night Shyamalan script.

Yeah, Knowing was a bit of a chore to sit through. Nicely done in the cinematography department, but really anemic where it should count. I ended up lamenting what could have been.