junk food horrorfestPretorious Productions / Brain Damage Films
2007
NR

Ah, another no-budget, shot-on-home-video “movie” to fill my head with pain and suffering. This one, though, was a bit different. Not only was this only a bit over an hour long, Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest is an anthology of six, count ’em, six no-budget shorts, the kind of stuff you usually can find on YouTube. But I’m getting ahead of myself again.

We start off with a junkie looking to score some dope, who is played by none other than Alice Cooper’s daughter, Calico Cooper. Why she’s in here…I don’t know. Loose a bet? Favor to a friend or something? Regardless, she’s given a videotape of this movie, and after smashing in the head of the junkie dealer that gave her the movie (don’t blame her, really), we’re treated to six tidbits of *cough* terror, all hosted by a hillbilly zombie that’s guaranteed to annoy. Really, he comes off as one of those cheesy horror house tour guides the local community center puts on every year. But anyway, the six movies he introduces range from the somewhat watchable to the downright groan-educing bad, and not in the so-bad-it’s-good kind of way, either. The acting is what you would expect from fare like this- terrible. There’s way too much unneeded swearing (the normal hallmark of hack writing in these things), but surprisingly little nudity. I’ll give this movie points for keeping things relatively brief, clocking in at just over an hour as mentioned before.

Bland, uninspired, but not as painful as I was expecting. Pass.

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