evil-fortune-cookiesIt’s been a while since I’ve done this. As a tragic fan of what passes as Chinese food here in Nebraska, I started the practice of posting the little paper messages found in those fortune “cookies” that they always stick in to top off the meal–first on my old Live Journal back in the day, then progressing to individual posts on my Facebook page, usually with a somewhat pithy comment from yours truly. All in good fun, really.

Recently, though, due to…reasons, I went four times partaking in Chinese food, and have yet to get to posting those little messages given to my by my sad little dessert. So, I thought I’d do all four of them in one post here on my bligity-blog. Why I kept these things around and not discarding them, well, that’s a tale for another day. Proceeding on with the wackiness:

LIFE IS A TRAGEDY FOR THOSE WHO FEEL AND A COMEDY FOR THOSE WHO THINK.
…so, would that make my life a comedic tragedy, or a tragic comedy?

THE EYES BELIEVE THEMSELVES; THE EARS BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE.
…and my stomach can’t believe that I actually thought I could stick that combination of chicken chunks, whatever-that-meat-was slathered in whatever-that-sauce-was, and “crab” Rangoon in there and not expect to pay the price later.

YOUR LIFE WILL BE HAPPY AND PEACEFUL.
…great, now I’m paranoid. Thanks, cookie.

YOU WILL BE LUCKY IN LOVE.
…now my cookie is mocking me. I thought I heard a snicker as I opened the cellophane to this particular one.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go sleep off this MSG overdose I once again find myself in…cheers…

::END TRANSMISSION::

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