outsiderIsolation from the bodies is what I truly desire? It’s true, without fellowship with other Believers, hob-nobbing with the rest of the Body of Christ is not only a good idea, but pretty much vital for our well-being and all that. Support, edification, learning and all that fun stuff. Deep down I desire this. I long for this. My hindrances make it rather tough, though.

Mistrust of other Christians. An unwillingness to pretend to be anything but myself. Especially around others. Just a general pessimistic outlook on the whole American/Westernized, Evangelical Christianity thing. Living out in the middle of nowhere doesn’t help much, either. But, mainly it’s my outsider thing. Born a misfit, will die a misfit. A freak. Nutcase. Crazy. Psychotic. High School doesn’t really end after High School, does it?

Ah, the old days. When I was younger, a brand-spankin’ new creation in Christ Jesus. I was so optimistic, full of spunk and hopes and dreams. So very naive. So trusting. Glad I’m older, and those days are little more than nostalgic memories.