Movie Review: UNBORNPlatinum Dunes
2009
PG-13

“Jumby wants to be born now.”

Thinking back to this past decade, it occurs to me that this first ten years of the 21st Century will be looked on by many horror fans both hardcore and casual alike as the decade of mediocre theatrical offerings in the genre. There are exceptions, yes, but for the most part there’s been a lot of movies that have a lot of flash but little by way of meat to ’em.

With The Unborn, this trend continues. Which is a bummer, because the movie showed so much potential, but was ultimately hindered quite a bit in the execution. The majority of the film is built upon a creepy atmosphere and visceral boo-scares that, while effective at first, got old after the first 30 minutes. The problem lies with not much happening; the ghost just stands there…a lot… striking a pose, while the girl goes around whining about the ghost. Coupled with rather confusing plot points – what, her dad’s gone all the time? How did she get that ultra-rare book out of the library? A mitten on the sidewalk will make you stop during your jog and examine it extensively? And a “twist” that not only was spotted from miles away, but did nothing whatsoever to make me beyond mild amusement at best. The story itself was enough to make me throw up my arms in disgust when the credits rolled. To say nothing of the usual “pretty white kids with problems” casting (they’re rich, see…which is why we should care about them more!), the plod-along pace that, I don’t know, maybe was supposed to build tension? Didn’t work that way, I’m afraid. And that final reel…I’m convinced the producers just went “I’m outta ideas, how ’bout we just do the standard supernatural showdown, then we can get Chinese takeout.”

Yeah, I didn’t like The Unborn. Could’ve been better. Seriously, I’m beginning to think the studios have forgotten the point anymore.

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