Ice Cream Dreams and such

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ice creme dreamAbout an hour ago, I found myself in a strange and alien parallel world. While having the same outward appearance as the world I normally inhabit, the weather was noticeably cooler than normal, while the sun was out and the people were about, as if this was a balmy spring day. I had to don a heavy jacket.

The people. Oh, the people. They looked like me, they acted like me, and they spoke, emoted and and carried on in typical human fashion like me. Only they weren’t like me.

No, they were different. The biggest indicator being that, unlike my skin, their skin was made of something like a sugar cone, with a layer of milk chocolate on the inside, like a Drumstick cone. And their insides were filled with vanilla ice cream.

These were people who were made of ice cream, with sugar cones for skin.

I don’t know how I got to this world. Transported by some outer force, slipped through a rip in the space/time continuum, some kind of vortex created by whatever coincidental combination of…something; I don’t know. All I do know is, when I was there, I was investigating the murder of one of these…beings’ citizenry.

His body was found, torso ripped open, the sugar cone-y pieces lying by his corpse, and all the ice cream forcibly removed. Since it was cooler there, the bits of his insides that I could see splattered around him weren’t melted and pooling, but the effect was still the same. Face frozen in horror, a giant gaping hole where his chest should have been, and a void where his ice cream innards should have been.

It was hard for me to take this all seriously, I know. But, whether bizarre ice cream beings or not, this still was a murder. I couldn’t let this monster get away.

Problem was, the beings there knew I wasn’t one of them. They sensed that I didn’t really belong in their world. As a result, no one would help me in the investigation. Not one of them would even acknowledge my presence there, when I was asking questions pertaining to the murder. Even when others started turning up murdered in the same heinous way, they turned their back on me.

Why would they do that? Something was killing all of them, and getting away with it, and THEY WON’T LISTEN TO ME. Why? It’s right in front of their faces. Under their noses. They constantly step in the ice creamy guts of their fallen brethren in the streets, willfully ignorant.

THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DIE, AND THEY WON’T LET ME HELP THEM FIND AND CATCH THE THING KILLING THEM.

…it’s horrible.

::END TRANSMISSION::

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Remembering the Great Junk Food Wars of 2012…

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Remembering the Great Junk Food Wars of 2012...It’s been a few years now, I believe, since this amusing set of circumstances started. I can’t recall whether it was the Oreo cookie that fired the first shot, or the Chick-Fil-A chain of fast food chicken sammiches, but the Great Cold War of the Early 21st Century is still going pretty…strong? Is that the correct word to use? Maybe it’s my lack of actually caring either way, but I don’t know if people are still being polarized about whatever stigma they assign to what. And up to now, I’ve been successful in maintaining my distance, my neutrality if you will, and take all these goings on in with the same and equal amount of critical satire this whole farce is leading up to.

And quite frankly, I don’t feel the need to weigh in. To take sides as explicitly as everyone seems to think we all should. I’m usually weary of anything that the media decides is what they’re going to saturate all of us with, and this whole thing is no different.

You might be saying to yourself there, “Hey, aren’t you a Christian, Uncle NecRo? Shouldn’t you be siding with the Chick-Fil-A crowd?” And if you’re saying that out loud, chances are you look rather ridiculous, so please stop. Yes, I am a Christian. Gave my life to Christ Jesus in 1989, came out of the closet as a Christian in 1992 (to borrow a phrase from the gay community, there…you can have our rainbows, if we can at least use some of your stuff, okay?), and have been unashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ ever since. I’m not perfect by any means, but that’s another blog post for another day. Just wanted to make sure we’re very very clear on this point before I continue on with the ramblings.

Also…must resist urge to quote from Animaniacs…harder than it looks…

Quite frankly, I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re boycotting Chick-Fil-A, and giving all of your time and money to either KFC, Popeye’s, or whatever else chicken chain is out there. Is El Pollo Loco still a thing? Anyway, I also don’t care if you’ve sworn off of Oreo cookies, opting instead to waste your money on those nasty Oreo knock-off brands that aren’t even close to being an Oreo, but apparently are good enough to feed your children in every Vacation Bible School in America, along with copious amounts of watered-down “orange drink”. And I’m sure I just triggered a bunch of childhood acid flashbacks there. You’re welcome.

This isn’t my first rodeo, peeps. I recall waaaaaaay back to my childhood, when my church was passing around a petition to keep The Last Temptation Of Christ from being played at the Fremont cinemas. That’s Fremont, Nebraska to those of you who’ve never stepped foot outside of California, there (I hear it’s nice). And yes, I admit I got caught up in that whole “Boycott Disney” thing in the 1990s. Par for the course. Time and temperament has given me more of a stay back and watch how this all plays out mentality about these things. And why is that?

Because I really have better things to do than give in to guilt and manipulation into causes that I really don’t think are that effective to begin with. Look at the image I decided to use up there. You can clicky-click on it to make it larger and read. See that? I think it’s way too easy for us American Christians, and Americans in general, to be caught up in caught up in causes that, while noble in origin, the execution of which leaves something to be desired. That’s why we have idiotic things like “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” (you can thank Mike Huckabee for that; fortunately, I didn’t get the memo), and the much more amusing-sounding “Suck Face With The Same Gender In Front Of A Chick-Fil-A Day” (I totally made the name up, but it actually was a thing, I swear).

I’ve decided a long while back that trying to be a good influence and positive male role model for my nephews was far more important. I find myself concerned more for serving others, which grows year by year, as imperfect a servant I am. I’m far more concerned with my own sinful wretch of a self, which is the result of the Holy Spirit growing closer, and clinging to the Grace that GOD gave us all through Christ Jesus. I am definitely far more concerned about letting my friends, associates and family members (and enemies, though I have no idea who they are) who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender and whatever else I’m forgetting on account of the caffeine finally beginning to wear off, know that, not only is it possible for us to disagree entirely with each other concerning this and still respect and love each other, but even if you curse me, seek to destroy me, beat me down and never ever give your own life to Christ Jesus yourself, I will still serve you unconditionally, because the Holy Spirit within me compels me to do so. I have no choice in the matter. Believe me, I’ve tried to find ways out of it.

So, believe me when I say, I probably will never eat at a Chick-Fil-A again any time soon. Not because of some shallow political posturing, but because KFC is way more METAL than any chicken shop out there.

::END TRANSMISSION::

Some Posts Of Dylan

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In my ongoing quest to make this blog of mine more personable to you, the reader (yes, you), I now bring you some of the unadulterated cuteness that is my third nephew, Dylan, when he was but a wee lad (he’s now 5):

(click on the images for the bigger view, yes)

...admit it, your pancreas just went into shock, this kid is so syrupy sweet there...

…admit it, your pancreas just went into shock, this kid is so syrupy sweet there…

...it's okay, he took out an actual TapouT fighter in under a minute, so he earned that shirt...

…it’s okay, he took out an actual TapouT fighter in under a minute, so he earned that shirt…

Some More Posts of Dylan3

“Yes, yes, just give me the water and BEGONE! *feh* Servants these days…”

::END TRANSMISSION::

Possible Last Words

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Possible Last WordsI have this uncanny, nagging feeling that my last words on this earth will be, “Man, I need a cigarette.” Dripping with sarcasm. As I lay underneath the wreckage, body broken and bloody, the cold, numbing feeling coming over me as my blood leaks out onto the ground, lying there unable to move…yeah, that’s going to be either my last words, or at the very least my last thoughts…

::END TRANSMISSION::

Okay, so, here’s the deal…

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death kill meThese past few weeks have been, in a manner of speaking, interesting. Without going into too many details, I’ve pretty much dropped more money on car repairs than I had for the past year, came down with a nasty sinus infection that I’m still showing trace evidence of even though I’m pretty much over it, and to top it all off my grandmother died, and I had to more or less deal with tense family drama yesterday as a result.

So, I’ve more or less decided to take the next couple of weeks off from posting, and cutting down my online presence on my social networking places. Just a mini holiday of sorts, so I can focus a bit more on some important things here in this “real world” everyone keeps talking about.

I’ve got a bunch of stuff already scheduled to be posted in the upcoming days, so it’s not like things are going to be totally bereft of Uncle NecRo. I’m just going to be gone until just after Easter or thereabouts. Then I’ll be back and stuff. No worries.

So, I’ll see everyone later. Enjoy your Easter, or whatever it is you do or don’t observe. And until then, I leave you with this:


::END TRANSMISSION::

Movie Review: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

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Guardians Of The GalaxyWalt Disney / Marvel
2014
PG-13

“Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.”

Peter Quill, a man of the ’80s, finds himself caught in the middle of a conflict spanning the cosmic side of the Marvel Cinematic Universe attempting to earn his title of Star-Lord with a team of ex-cons that includes a genetically engineered raccoon, a sentient alien tree of royal descent, a human who died and came back a killing machine, and a powerful assassin who vows revenge against her master.

I have to humbly admit that I was not expecting to enjoy Guardians Of The Galaxy as much as I did. I didn’t watch this in the theater during its initial run, mainly due to my unfamiliarity with the source material. Normally, that wouldn’t deter me from watching a movie adaptation: I was right there at the theaters the opening night for Iron Man and The Avengers, after all. But, where I at least had a general grasp of the other better-known characters, I literally knew next to nothing about the source material on this one. I maybe had heard of Rocket Racoon due to my reading of Wizard Magazine back in the day, but other than that, everything else that I knew you could have fit on a cocktail napkin.

So, because of the relative obscurity of it, and having one of the fellow Exalted Geeks tell me I could go ahead and wait for the rental after having caught it on the big screen himself, I did just that: waited until it came out on DVD, and then rented it to give it a watch. Then forgot about watching it, returned it, then promptly forgot to care enough to re-rent it to watch, and then got around to actually doing it for realsies some time later, when I was bored enough to remember to watch it, and needing some background noise going whilst I was packing my things in my old crypt for the move to the Haunted Victorian. What? I can multi-task.

After having finally watched it, I have to admit that, once again, Marvel Studios has made me enjoy something I could initially care less for far more than was possible. This movie had everything going against it as far as I was concerned…and yet, by the first ten minutes I was hooked fast, the film having lured me in with its gorgeous cinematography, then nailing me with its well-crafted story and great character development, as well as some of the snappiest banter and breath-taking action sequences I’ve seen. Once again, James Gunn has taken what could potentially have been a disaster for the Marvel Movie Universe and made it one of the best ones out of the entire stable of Disney/Marvel movies.

I don’t say this often, but I will here: I am very sorry I didn’t catch this on the big screen when I had the chance. If you haven’t seen this one yet, make it a point to do so. Even if you haven’t seen the other Marvel movies, if you’re a fan of space operas like Star Wars and Buck Rogers, and appreciate well-written and snappy dialogue this side of Joss Whedon, you need to check out Guardians Of The Galaxy. If nothing more than to believe that a pro wrestler can have tight comic timing as a Straight Man. That came off sounding far more sexualized than intended. Point is, watch Guardians Of The Galaxy. Highly recommended.

“Something something something Purpose Driven, something something something complete…”

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_Something something something Purpose Driven, something something something complete..._Have you ever read that Christian “classic” The Purpose Driven Life by one Rick Warren?

I’ve never read it. Even though it’s been toted in Christian circles as ranked along side books such as Mere Christianity, Pilgrim’s Progress, and stuff by some guy going by the last name of Luther…Marvin, or Melvin…Marty, something like that. Even though I still have the copy my Grandma lent me…and have never asked for back, come to think of it. Sneaky, Grandma.

I’ve heard the arguments both praising the book, and denouncing it. I’ve listened to people gushing about how the book changed their lives. I’ve heard of entire sermon series based on the book. I’ve seen the spin-off books, the Bible study workbooks, the youth editions. And who could forget about the lady who used the book to – for lack of a better word – witness to her kidnapper? So, yeah, I am painfully aware of the cultural juggernaut that is The Purpose Driven Life.

I just have never felt the need to read the thing.

So why am I bringing it up? Well, I’m not going to bag on a book I’ve never read, in case you’re wondering. And if I ever do get around to reading it, I’ll let you know how it went.

No, the reason I’ve brought it up is as kind of an example of what we all seem to wrestle with more often than is comfortable admitting. I guess the reason why The Purpose Driven Life was such a runaway hit is because we’ve all wondered what our big purpose in life is.

And I realize, after re-reading that last paragraph,the majority of you are thinking, “Ooooh, BIG deep thought there, Captain Obvious.” Makes sense, though, doesn’t it?

And I’d like to make…well, not a confession really, but more of a proclamation: After over twenty-five years of being a follower and humble servant of Jesus Christ – a “Christian”, if you will – I still have no idea what my grand purpose is. There was a time, when I was young and stupid, that I thought I did. I’ll spare you the complete details (for now), but sufficed to say I had some severe delusions of adequacy when it came to my ministry here in Earth.

See, we call ’em “ministries” to make ’em sound much more spiritually important, there.

Lately…and by that, I mean the past few years or so…I’ve been really noticing a lot of purpose in the mundane, day-to-day life that I and many others find ourselves in. We get up, we go to work, we attend to our daily lives, all without grand aplomb, flashing lights, or a state-of-the-art audio-video experience. I have no plans to become a preacher (television, radio or otherwise), get involved in outreaches, start a music ministry, write for a Christian magazine (or their blog…do magazines still exist?), write a bunch of books, teach youth groups (*cough*), or even join the worship team at my church.

And I’m pretty sure, if the worship leader at my church actually read that last part, he’d be giving a big sigh of relief, there.

And I’m not bagging on anyone who are actually doing those kind of things. It’s just that, for the last few years or so, I’ve been transitioning to becoming more content with what many might call a “mundane existence.” I see GOD’s grand purpose in the small things now. That my worth to Him doesn’t depend on what I can do for Him. That there is a difference between following Christ, and following Christianity.

Or, to put it bluntly, God’s purpose for my life is for me to get over myself. Which is harder than it looks, considering how awesome I am…

::END TRANSMISSION::

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