zombeaversUniversal
2014
R

We cannot turn against each other right now. That’s exactly what the beavers would want.”

A group of college kids staying at a riverside cabin are menaced by a swarm of deadly zombie beavers. A weekend of sex and debauchery soon turns gruesome as the beavers close in on the kids. Riding the line between scary, sey and funy, the kids are soon fighting for their lives in a desperate attempt to fend off the hoard of beavers that attack them in and around their cabin.

Yep. This is a movie called Zombeavers. Yep, it’s about zombie beavers. And yep, it’s just as mindless as you would think a movie entitled “Zombeavers” would be. How mindless, you ask? Well…think a Troma movie as filtered through a Full Moon Productions flick.

So, we start this little cheesefest with a couple of truck drivers loosing a canister of something iridescent green and liquid-y after hitting a deer, immediately contaminating a dam of beavers. We then join three young twenty-something girls driving out to a lakeside cabin in a remote rural community to have some Girls Only time away from their boyfriends. Which lasts about a few hours, when said boyfriends show up unannounced. Your standard Young Adults In Remote Lake House shenanigans ensue, until one of the now-zombified beavers crash the party. They think they’ve taken care of the thing, when the next day they’re swarmed by a whatever-the-word-for-a-group-of-beavers-is, which they narrowly escape by chucking the lap dog of one of the girls at them for a distraction, but not after one of them gets their leg gnawed off. Your standard Night of the Living Dead Beavers standoff happens, when they discover that anyone that was bitten became a living human beaver, complete with a flat tail and giant buck teeth. Oh, and hack ’em up all you want, they’re not dying. Only one survives the night and makes it out alive and not infected…only to be run down by the two truck drivers from the beginning of the flick. Ah, the circle of stupid…

Look, I’ll be blunt about this: Zombeavers is the kind of movie that sets out to revel in its B-Horror Movie badness, and does so with gusto. Mindlessly entertaining, not at all painful to watch, and you can tell they put some loving effort into the process of making this. Not too many people will get this, but I do, and that’s what matters. Check this one out for a good Bad Movie Night selection with your friends some time.

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