living dead doll

Dolls are already creepy to begin with. Those motionless, soulless things straight from the Uncanny Valley, forever staring at you with those glassy eyes of theirs, unassuming but secretly waiting for you to go to sleep, so that they can suck your life-force through your mouth and nose, slowly draining you…

Excuse me, please. I have to go hyperventilate for a couple of minutes.

There. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Dolls are already creepy to begin with. It takes a special kind of twisted to design a doll that says, “I see your Creepy, and raise you some Terrifying Nightmare Fuel.” Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, really. But…gah, these Living Dead Dolls.

First produced and sold independently in 1998, and then picked up commercially by Mezco Toyz in 2001, Living Dead Dolls takes the best parts about the Horror culture and makes them even more creepy by making them into doll form. Ten inches tall plastic embodiments of your nightmares, with custom clothing and coming complete in coffin-shaped boxes and individual death certificates, I have to admit that these things are genius. They certainly have an Addams Family vibe to them, like they were made specifically for Wednesday Addams.

Me, I’m rather conflicted. On the one hand, they’re bits of memorabilia dedicated to the love of the Horror genre. On the other hand, the fact remains that they’re still dolls, and will undoubtedly try and drag my soul to hell if I ever let up on my sleepless vigil against these things. I know they move. They know I know, and if I ever let my guard down…

Um, I need to go hyperventilate¬†again…sorry…