the boones-first class

First Class
Lamb & Lion Records

Have you ever gone through your music collection and come across a title that makes you pause and think, “How did that get in there?” This particular title that you see here? This is one of them that I came across in the Archive Dungeon that houses my personal collection. The kicker is, I can’t recall when and how this thing came into my possession. It’s not something I would want to actually have in there. But, lo and behold, here it is. And since it’s there, I have to listen and review the thing. It’s the law of Uncle NecRo, you know.

For those not up on their Middle-Of-The-Road Soft Rock of the 1970s, The Boones was the all-girl group made up of the progeny of Pat Boone, the entertainer/evangelical preacher who once made rock and roll safe for white kids in the 1950s. They released a couple of albums as a group, before Debbie Boone decided to rebel and “go secular”, unleashing the AM Radio favorite “You Light Up My Life” upon an unsuspecting public. The 1970s were an odd time. I’m glad I don’t remember most of it.

Anyway, First Class is, for the most part, the type of 70s-style Soft Rock you would expect from that era: lukewarm and slathered in a nauseating schmaltzy gravy of the type that only a Ned Flanders type can stomach. I say “most part”, because there are a couple of songs where they attempt to “rock out”, like how the adults at the school assembly try to appear hip to the kids. Interesting, but comes off as more embarrassingly adorable. And no, I’m not going to tell you which ones they are. You’re going to have to listen to the album to satiate your gnawing curiosity.

As you could probably guess, listening to this was an exercise in lame. The thing is, this is a collection of music that was contemporary at the time, not something that was released in the following years, like most CCM, so really this could be considered “innovating”, I guess. Doesn’t matter. I listened to it once for the obligatory review, and here it is. Now, to flush out this from my head with some proper \,,/METAL\,,/. Gads, my skin is crawling…