bad-fortune-cookieSo, this being a rare snow day from work, and seeing as how I’m not going anywhere for a bit, I figured now would be a good time to catch up on posting the various Fortune Cookie messages I’ve gotten from my takeout excursions over the months. They’ve been piling up here on the corner of my desk. So, here’s what they are, and my little commentaries to follow:

YOU WILL BE ADVANCED SOCIALLY, WITHOUT ANY SPECIAL EFFORT.
…I’ve read Shirley Jackson’s ‘The Lottery’…this won’t end well.

AN ADMIRER IS TOO SHY TO GREET YOU AT THE MOMENT
…at least, until the lights are out and I’ve gone to sleep, so that they can sneak inside and steal another lock of my hair for their collection.

YOU WILL SOON GAIN SOMETHING YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED
…that would either be the cold hands of death to guide me out of this mortal coil, or that Darth Vader gumball machine. Could go either way.

KEEP YOUR PLANS SECRET FOR NOW
…well, great. You should have told me that before I posted everything on my Facebook page. Way to drop the ball, cookie.

NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO FINISH UP OLD TASKS
…even the cookies are getting on me to put away my laundry. Sheesh.

OUR FIRST AND LAST LOVE IS…SELF LOVE
…now, is that the kind of love a man has for a woman, or the kind of love a man has for a fine cigar?

::END TRANSMISSION::

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