Movie Review: BATMAN v SUPERMAN: Dawn Of Justice

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Batman_v_Superman_posterWarner Bros. Pictures
2016
PG-13

And now, you will fly to him, and you will battle him to the death. Black and blue. Fight night. The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus man. Day versus night! Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham!

It’s been nearly two years since Superman’s colossal battle with Zod devastated the city of Metropolis. The loss of life and collateral damage left many feeling angry and helpless, including crime-fighting billionaire Bruce Wayne. Convinced that Superman is now a threat to humanity, Batman embarks on a personal vendetta to end his reign on Earth, while the conniving Lex Luthor launches his own crusade against the Man of Steel.

I’m going to let everyone know right off the bat: there’s going to be spoilers in this here review. After a couple of days of chewing on the movie, after watching with some of the Exalted Geeks, it’s probably best that I let loose with my various brain droppings on this latest superhero flick unfettered.

I had no intention of watching Batman v Superman during its initial theatrical run. I wasn’t impressed with the previews. I had a feeling, like with Man Of Steel, that this particular attempt by DC to continue building its cinematic universe was going to be more dark, grim and humorless waste of time. Maybe I would watch it at the El Cheepo second-run theater; chances are, though, I would wait for the release on DVD, then take my time with renting the thing to see how it actually is. You know, like I did with Man Of Steel. But then, some of the aforementioned Exalted Geeks decided to catch an afternoon showing on the Saturday of its release, and offered me a chance to buy one of the reserved tickets. Eh, it was a Saturday. I figured, if I were to suffer, at least I have friends along to suffer with me.

So, now here we are. And I’ll just say this again: THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD. Yar. Ye be warned.

In Batman v Superman, it’s either 18 months or two years (depending on where you’re getting the plot descript from) since the events of Man Of Steel. Due to these events, Bruce Wayne has a super-sized hate on for the last son of Krypton. Also, the public opinion has been split over him, Supes being seen as either Alien Space Jesus a force for good, or a threat to the human race. Meanwhile, there’s a new player in town that also has a hate-on for Superman, the eccentric (read: insane) multi-billionaire Mark Zuckerberg Lex Luthor, who manipulates politicians’ suspicions of Superman’s true intentions to gain access to the Kryptonian space ship and the body of one General Zod. Why? To turn him into Doomsday, silly. Meanwhile, Superman is all angsty, Lois Lane has to be rescued a bunch of times, Bat-Affleck has some dream visions, and Wonder Woman shows up for…reasons. Lexie-poo kidnaps Superman’s mother, makes him and Batman fight, Batman has on his Hulk Superman buster armor(TM) and some kryptonite gas, and then they make up and fight Doomsday. But that’s okay, because that section of the city is deserted, we’re told ad nausium. Then Superman dies. Que the obligatory bagpipe rendition of “Amazing Grace”, and it’s finally done. Until the next movie.

This…was a long movie to sit through. I pretty much felt every minute of the 151 minute run time. That’s approximately two-and-a-half hours. Make a note of that, because I’m going to circle back around to that in a bit.

But first, I thought I’d get all the stuff I liked about this movie out of the way. And there was quite a bit that I did find enjoyable. Namely, the action-y bits. There was a car chase that was pretty breath taking, and of course the (too brief) throwdown between Batman and Superman and then the massive three-way team up to take down Doomsday was, in fact, epic.

I admit that I was proven wrong. Ben Affleck really is, not only a good Batman, but also a very good Bruce Wayne. Still gonna be refering to him as Bat-Affleck, thought. Because it’s hilarious. And really, I have no complaints with Henry Cavill as Superman/Clark Kent. Those two and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman do their best with the script they were given. Which brings me to this…

The story of the movie and general flow of the thing was, to put it mildly, off-puttingly disjointed. It was almost like the narrative itself was put secondary to a bunch of “This is COOL!” shots of the heroes and villains doing…stuff. And that doesn’t seem to help things when, despite its TWO AND A HALF HOUR running time, it still felt like an unfinished movie. Plot points unexplained, character motivations suddenly turning and changing for no reason, and “twists” that we all not only saw coming months away from opening night, but even the big one (that I spoiled for you in my synopsis up there) at the end, which was supposed to elicit an emotional Darth Vader-like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! complete with jazz hands, fell with such a splat I had to check the bottom of my shoe to make sure I didn’t step in something. And that’s to say nothing of the over-the-top, completely WRONG characterization of Lex Luthor they went with. Gads, don’t get me started.

I could go on. But, I think the biggest tell was that, although the theater I was in was rather full, they were the most well-behaved and quiet fanboys and fangirls to attend a big, blockbuster featuring two iconic DC characters that was decades in the making. There was no cheering. There was no clapping. One of the Exalted Geeks I was with actually fell asleep at one point.

So, overall, I would have to say that Batman v Superman…well, it was a Zack Snyder movie. It was gorgeously shot, and the action scenes rivaled that of Michael Bay, but when all is said and done it’s just a mess. An entertaining mess, yes, but a mess none the less. I do not see myself watching it again, in any format. Not voluntarily, anyway.

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OBLIGATORY EASTER POST, 2016

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wroooooooooooooooong

I almost didn’t post one this year. Not out of forgetfulness, mind you. I had been, as I normally do, chewing over what the brain droppings would be for this year’s post. And I almost decided to not post anything.

Mostly because of certain individuals that feel the need to ruin things for everyone.

They’ve been doing this for quite a bit. I just seem to have been a bit more hyper aware of it all this year, for whatever reason. I speak of these fellow Christians of mine who feel the need to point out that we are all wrong about Good Friday and Easter. Every year, they whip out their memes and their charts, trying to prove that our timing for the days of our observations of Jesus’ respective death and resurrection are WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG, and we’re all idiots for doing so. Somehow, this is supposed to prove their ultimate spiritual superiority, or something like that.

Look, like Christmas, I don’t really care about what day it is that we, as Christians, observe and remember what Christ Jesus layed down for to ransom our ungrateful selves. Truth is, yes, He is risen…but we’ve all been living in the post-resurrection world. And if you want to get down to it, the only thing that Jesus expressly commanded us to do to remember His sacrifice was to participate regularly in what we call the Communion.

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think that observance of Easter or not really negates my salvation, through my trust and faith in Christ Jesus. Let alone doing so on the actual day or not. We should all be living like it’s after He has risen, as new creatures through faith in Him.

The point is, He died, He rose, He conquered sin and death. And that’s why we gather together as one body, to remember that.

But, if that makes me an idiot, then fine. I’m an idiot. I have better things to worry about.

He is risen. He has risen indeed. Cheers, all.

::END TRANSMISSION::

NECRO SHOCK RADIO – Session 3-17

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SESSION 3.17

Hey! Another Session of the creamy Brutal Music Therapy you didn’t know you craved! Just in time for Easter! Not that this one has an Easter theme, just…you know, timing. Strap in, bite down hard, and think of Marshmallow Peeps while we do our thing…

Featuring cuts from:

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Movie Review: 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

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10 cloverfield laneParamount Pictures
2016
PG-13

I’m sorry, but no one’s looking for you.

A young woman wakes up in the basement of a man who claims he saved her life after pulling her from her overturned car which violently crashed along the highway. The man states that the world above them is no longer safe and is now a danger zone that threatens the rest of humanity. With no knowledge of what actually lies above and trust running thin between them, the woman questions what’s true and what’s not. Is the man a delusional psychotic that has a more sinister agenda for her? Or is it really hell on earth above ground like he swears?

I think that, at this point in the game, I don’t have to really spend a lot of time explaining the development of the film that eventually became 10 Cloverfield Lane. Many other reviews and websites have done a fantastic job of doing that, as well as going through the associated viral marketing and ARG that was also used in the original Cloverfield movie. Having watched it on the big screen the same weekend it was released, though (as opposed to watching it when it eventually shows up at the second-run theater, as I had planned), all I’m going to do is explain my initial thoughts on the movie, and do so in a manner that (hopefully) won’t spoil anything, so you can go into watching this as fresh as you possibly can. Which means I’m going to have to reign myself in a bit. Here goes nothing.

So, going into 10 Cloverfield Lane the Saturday afternoon it was released, all I knew about it was 1) it was described as a “blood relative” to the original Cloverfield by J. J. Abrams, and not a direct sequel, and 2) the movie takes place mostly in an underground survival bunker with three people, where one may or may not be insane, one is definitely there against her will, and there may or may not have been some kind of attack on the surface. I wasn’t exactly expecting the Cloverfield monster, but the preview did an outstanding job of building up tension and NOT spoiling anything about the movie. Imagine that.

After thinking about the movie for a bit, I’m going to have to throw in with the others who have watched 10 Cloverfield Lane and found themselves enjoying it far more than they thought they would. I was surprised to learn that this was actually Dan Trachtenberg’s first shot at making a movie, as it was a tight, very taunt psychological thriller with a very thick feel of a Twilight Zone episode if directed by Alfred Hitchcock. All of the cast play off each other perfectly, with John Goodman portrayal of a survivalist really keeping you off balance the entire time. I can’t really go into it without spoiling things a bit, but…let’s just say that, to the question of “Is he insane, or is he just in shock due to being right?”, I will have to answer “yes”.

One question that I’ve been asked while talking about the movie with co-workers and general associates was, does 10 Cloverfield Lane really tie in to the first film? Well…yes, in a certain way. There were maybe one or two bits that I picked up, tucked away in the background, that I managed to pick out. But, ultimately, even if you go into this not knowing anything about Cloverfield, or even the whole “Clover-verse” that Abrams is now giddy about building, 10 Cloverfield Lane holds up solidly as its own movie. Mind you, the ending might hork you off, but if you think about it, it does make a bit of sense. But, overall, I highly recommend watching this movie.

NECRO SHOCK RADIO – Session 3-16

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Finally, and it’s about time…after an unscheduled extended holiday to take care of certain, shall we call them “technical difficulties”, it’s time once again to brush the rust off of the instruments, and ply you all with some long-needed BRUTAL MUSIC THERAPY! And, it’s a Jumbo Sized Therapy Session! Joy!

Featuring cuts from:

::END TRANSMISSION::

Bit of an update (and an “interview”)

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morbidHey, everybody who’s still reading my blog, here. You might have noticed that the posts have died down considerably this past month. That’s mainly due to a combination of dealing with something akin to the Martian Death Sinus Infection that sapped a lot of my willingness to do much of anything beyond going home from work and collapsing in a squishy heap. There were other bad things happening to my body due to Nebraska’s famous schizophrenic weather, especially with the onset of the dreaded Spring happening here very soon. Let’s just say, those times I wreaked my knees while in High School doing physical stuffs, it’s come back to haunt me on a periodic basis.

Anyway, I figured, since we’re in the midst of the Lent season, I want to take a hint and maybe focus more on contemplation of my faith and such until after Easter; after which, I should have enough of a backlog finished to get back to the regularly scheduled wackiness here. Sorry about the lack of activity; until after Easter, there probably won’t be a whole lot, outside of the odd piece I may post if the mood hits me. You know the feeling.

But, just to have something for you all to check out, I thought I’d post one of those “interview” questions that I found on a friend’s Facebook page, and answered in my unplugged journal recently, just for kicks and giggles. Mostly giggles. Cheers, until later…

ARE YOU SINGLE?
At the moment, until I can figure out how to sub-divide asexually.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP?
Ummmm…no?

YOUR CURRENT CRUSH?
Diet Grape.

LAST SONG YOU HEARD?
“Beyond The Dark Cloud” (Soul Hunter)

FAVORITE COLOUR?
Toxic Green

HEIGHT?
Six-foot even…give or take a centimeter or three.

WHO DO YOU LOVE THAT LIKED THIS?
Since I have not the ability to see into the future (yet), I cannot answer that.

BIG WISH RIGHT NOW?
That I didn’t have to interact with other humans as a requirement for my job.

A PERSON YOU CAN ARGUE ALL DAY WITH?
Myself…I can be quite the contrarian…no, I don’t…

AGE YOU’RE ALWAYS MISTAKEN FOR?
Santa.

PERSON YOU MISS?
She knows who she is.

PERSON YOU HATE?
Myself.

PRETTIEST GIRLS THAT LIKED THIS?
Wha?

CUTEST PERSON THAT LIKED THIS?
I refer you back to the answer to question number 7.

LAST KISS?
Probably.

LAST HUG?
One of my nephews ambush-hugged me.

LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO IN PERSON?
My team lead at work.

LAST PERSON YOU MESSAGED?
My sister.

PERSON YOU TALK TO THE MOST?
Myself.

FAVORITE SONG?
“Disco Mickey Mouse”

FAVORITE MOVIE?
UHF

COLOUR OF SHIRT?
Black.

FAVORITE NUMBER?
667

FAVORITE PEOPLE?
Introverts.

IDOLS?
Hypothetically speaking, I like to think I would adhere to one of the Elderich Gods of the Cthulhu Mythos Cycle…Nyarlathotep, perhaps…

WHAT DO YOU LOVE?
Silly human, inanimate objects cannot “love” you back.

DO YOU LIKE SINGING?
No.

LAST THING YOU ATE?
An ice creme cookie sammich.

FAVORITE SPORT(S)?
The kind that involve me not caring about them.

PILLOW OR NO PILLOW?
Pillow.

HOLLISTER OR AEROPOSTALE?
You may have had a minor stroke, there.

FAVORITE THING TO DO?
Answer pointless questions found on my friends’ Facebook feeds.

FAVORITE PEOPLE?
Hold on…that was question number 24. I’m calling shenanigans.

BEST FRIENDS?
They know who they are.

SOMEONE YOU TRUST WITH EVERYTHING?
TRUST NO ONE.

CHILDHOOD MEMORY?
What about ’em?

EVER SELF-HARM?
Psychologically, perhaps.

EVER BEEN DEPRESSED?
Come back in an hour and ask me that again.

LISTENING TO ANYTHING?
The pipped music station at the Which Wich where I’m scribbling this.

FAVORITE BAND?
Right now, really digging on the new Megadeth album.

FAVORITE SHOW?
Ash Vs. Evil Dead

FAVORITE SINGER?
Adele.

BI-SEXUAL, STRAIGHT OR GAY?
Asexual.

SWEATER OR HOODIE?
Hoodie.

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