hudson hawkTriStar Pictures
1991
R

“History, tradition, culture…are not concepts! These are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights! The chaos we will cause with this machine will be our final masterpiece!”

Whenever I come across the movie Hudson Hawk mentioned in an article or podcast or whatever and whatnot, it’s always referenced as one of the worst movies of Bruce Willis’ film career. Not the worst, as it’s not even close to the likes of The Whole Ten Yards or A Good Day To Die Hard. I haven’t heard anyone say anything good about Hudson Hawk.

I aim to change that. Because, I may be in the woeful minority, but I actually not only enjoyed Hudson Hawk when I watched it in the theaters when it was released back in 1991, but I continue to watch it more often than most other movies.

If, for some reason you haven’t checked this out due to the negative press, Hudson Hawk is about a former cat burglar who is just released from prison, and just wants to play it straight, stay out of the crime game, and most importantly get a decent cup of Cappuccino. Only, there are certain people from the Mayflower Industries corporation who want to utilize Hudson’s special skill set to steal three of the most highly secured ancient artifacts in the world: the maquette of the Sforza, the Da Vinci Codex, and a scale model of DaVinci’s helicopter design. Why? Because these three components hide the pieces to a device that turns lead into gold, and Mr. and Mrs. Mayflower want to make their own gold to crash the world’s economy. To help Hawk on his mission is his long-time partner in crime, Tommy “Five-Tone” Messina, along with several associates that are on the Mayflower Industries’ payroll — including Hawk’s parole officers, a minor mob ring and some candy-themed CIA agents. Also, there’s a snarky British butler named Alfred with a propensity for spring-loaded wrist blades. With the help of an undercover nun (which is a great band name), it’s a wacky series of misadventures trying to keep the Mayflowers from taking over the world while attempting to have that elusive Cappuccino.

Hudson Hawk, to me, is the perfect flawed guilty pleasure. I adore this movie. It’s all over the place, with the cheeky performances, the over-the-top scene chewing, the absurdist humor injected into the plot, the gleeful cheese that flies at you…darn it, I’m just going to say give this at least one look before deciding for yourself if Hudson Hawk really is as bad as everyone says. As for me, I believe I just talked myself into watching this movie again.

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