death from beyondPendulum Pictures
2006
NR

Slowly but surely working through the movies on the Tomb Of Terrors movie pack I got some time ago. The thing is, the quality of most of these independent low-budget, mostly shot-on-video flicks is rather bad, that it takes a bit to recover from the pain of watching them. Even sitting through the relatively short films in this collection tests my threshold of pain resistance. Case in point: Death From Beyond.

Clocking in at merely 37 minutes, Death From Beyond nonetheless manages to feel much longer than the actual run time. I should point out that the individual DVD release has the run time as over 80 minutes, but the extra time after the 37 minutes is dedicated to blooper reels. Fortunately, the version included on the Tomb Of Terrors pack edited out the excess pointless stuff post-credit, so there’s the silver lining to this cloud.

Essentially, this short is about the film crew making an amateur porn film (of course it is) being menaced by an ancient Egyptian demon that’s feeding off of the lust and sexual energy coming from the proceedings (of course they are). One of the actresses is really into archeology (because of course she is), and fights the demon with the help of a cheep-looking amulet.

To call Death From Beyond a horrible hot mess would be woefully understating things. The effects are amazingly bad (there’s a “lake” that’s basically a blue plastic sheet, a swordfight with cardboard and aluminum foil swords, and don’t get me started with the clip-art .gif style CGI stuff), the acting even worse than amateurish, and the complete lack of even the most basic filmmaking techniques made me twitchy. And not in a good way.

What’s more, there appears to be a sequel that was put out a few years later. I know that’s going to somehow end up in my queue, mysteriously. Meanwhile, Death From Beyond is 37 minutes I’ll never get back again. Stay as far away from this short film as possible.

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