countdown
STX Entertainment
2019
PG-13

“If this is a curse, since they come from the devil and his demons, then curses can be broken. All you have to do is prove the devil is a liar.”

  • When a nurse downloads an app that claims to predict exactly when a person is going to die, it tells her she only has three days to live. With time ticking away and a figure haunting her, she must find a way to save her life before time runs out.

Countdown was another one of those stylish, modern-tech based horror movies that came out in the later part of 2019 that, after witnessing the trailer for it at the theater, I sort of knew it was a kind of movie where I was not going to be catching in its original theatrical run. Probably not even checking out immediately after it hit DVD and/or streaming. The gimmick was far too cheesy: A smart phone app that counts down to the very minute when you die. It seemed like a movie tailor-made to rely too much on jump scares and arbitrary manufactured tension over nothing. As the reviews for this flick started pouring in from the sites I usually rely on to gauge whether a movie is worth my time or not, it was rather unanimous that Countdown was another horror flick big on gimmick and not much substance to go on.

I of course, just watched the rental a couple of months after it came out. I didn’t say I would never watch Countdown. Just, not immediately. No, I definitely watch my fare share of mediocre ho-hum type horror movies, so one afternoon I threw it on to watch as I got some other stuff in the general vicinity done.

Turns out, Countdown is definitely one of those types of movies where you don’t have to pay too much attention to and still maintain a solid idea of everything that’s going on. The movie opens with a bunch of teenagers at a party, playing inane drinking games. One of the group stumbles across the Countdown app and downloads it, and so all of them decide to download the app, and whoever has the least time to live has to drink up all the beer on the table. Of course, one of them has only a few hours to live, and despite logical objections from her boyfriend, she dies mysteriously as the clock on the app runs out. Fast forward to a few days later, when an LPN has just been upgraded to RN, and is taking care of the boyfriend of the dead girl, who is due for a surgery to fix his mangled leg he sustained the night of her death due to drunk driving (trust me, the two incidents are not related), but he too downloaded the app, and his time is apparently up right when he’s scheduled to get the surgery. Everyone else thinks he’s jumpy, but of course, the kid dies mysteriously in the stairwell. So the RN decides to download the app herself and see what’s up. Turns out, she has a bit less than a couple of days to go herself. As it turns out, the closer you get to the end time, you start seeing visions of dead people and start freaking out about stuff. She tries to get a new phone, but the app just re-downloads itself to it; she tries to get it hacked and changed, which seems to work at first, but then it reverts back to its original time; finally, she seeks down a priest who has some tricks up his sleeve to deal with what he believes to be the true entity behind the app: the DEVIL! It’s then postulated that, if anyone either manages to live beyond the countdown’s end, or dies before the countdown is supposed to end, then the app’s curse will be lifted, and the Devil gets squat. So they try that first part out by hiding out in a salt circle (right out of the Hollywood exorcism book, there), but the Devil is a bit more clever than expected. I mean, he’s been doing this for a long, long time; about the only two times in recorded history where he’s been beaten by his own game was by Jesus, and some redneck in Georgia who was really good at playing the fiddle. So that first attempt backfires badly. So then our main protagonist decides to go with the second option, but do so in a way that will make you shake your head and go, “whatever, sure.” But then we get an ending setup for a sequel that I hope and pray will never, ever get made, for the love of all that is good and holy.

Overall, while I really don’t think that Countdown was the utter piece of ka-ka that everyone was declaring it to be–you just had to wait for the 2019 Black Christmas remake to top that list in a handful of months–it is still a very derivative, predictable and boring exercise into making a ubiquitous pop culture thing into a scary horror movie. I will admit that the premise itself is interesting; however, they stumbled mightily by making this a straight horror movie. Instead, they should have went the smart British dark comedy route, with the Devil trying to get backers for his startup app, and letting the wackiness ensue from there. And I’m just some stupid middle-aged American.

The cinematography is fine, and actually gets some good spooky atmospheric touches going. And I will admit that the supernatural expert priest was the highlight of the movie, and wouldn’t mind to see a movie staring just him. The design of “the Devil” in his appearance was pretty decent looking, if not something that came out of later seasons of Stargate: SG1. Otherwise, the acting is serviceable–borderline annoying with the teenage kid sister character, but that’s par for the course really–and there were more than one instance where my intelligence felt insulted. Meaning, Countdown isn’t necessarily horrible, but is maybe geared more for 12-year-olds looking to watch something “scary” at their sleepover to feel “edgy” and stuff.