Stupid Witnessing Tricks: SAND IN THE GAS TANK

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One of my regular daily blog stops is at Stuff Fundies Like, which–in case you’re not familiar with it–is a much-needed humorously serious ongoing expose’ on the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist denominations from a recovering former member of such wackiness. As a former charismatic Pentecostal, it’s rather therapeutic, as it confronts a bit of the abusive legalism I was privy to, and shows me how to laugh and heal. It’s a great site, comes highly recommended by your Uncle NecRo.

Recently, a post was made featuring this interesting flyer:


And since my common sense began tingling, I felt compelled to comment on this in my own little bligity-blog post.

This reminds me of the time an AOG youth pastor asked me–upon learning that I attended prom not just once, but four times in as many years (it’s a story for another time)–asked me, “You wouldn’t go to an orgy, would you?” That kind of faulty logical reason is the same kind employed here, with the same kind of effect: logic whiplash.

A few questions and points:
–Do they actually sell sand in boxes? Well, besides sand boxes at playgrounds. I’ve seen said bags, for wintertime and such, but never individual boxes.
–That guy looks far too pleased to be pouring Sand-brand sand into the gas tank, which leads me to believe he’s really pouring it into the tank of his ex-wife in an act of childish retribution.
–Has there been a problem with people thinking that adding sand to the gas tank will, in fact, help with the performance of the vehicle? Because, as Brother Envall has postulated, the origins of many a warning label have stemmed from necessity.
–I usually don’t bother with pointless prooftexting flame wars like this, but just for the sake of playing Devil’s Advocate: 1 Timothy 5:23, John 2:1-11, Jeremiah 13:12, and let us not forget the analogy in Mark 2:22, Matthew 9:17 and Luke 5:37 about the new wine in old wineskins.

Seriously, it’s this kind of bad logic and argumentative fallacy that makes me shake my head in shame. apparently, the invitation God made in Isaiah 1:18 to “Come now, and let us reason together…” no longer applies to us believers in this modern era.

The issue here has nothing to do with drinking. I don’t imbibe, therefore I am not taking issue with the anti-drinking stance. I am, however, offended at the utter insult to mine and others’ collective intelligence with such bad presentation of the argument.

I also find it interesting and amusing that, after recently re-reading the entire book of Proverbs, there’s a LOT of passages dealing with fools that don’t know how to keep their mouths shut. Maybe I should be pondering how it applies to me, as well.




So, today while surfing around the various sites on my favorites list, killing time until the inevitable little death of sleep engulfed me once again, I came across this pic at the Stuff Fundies Like page:

No Water In Hell photo

Of course, my first thought was, “I thought they didn’t serve breakfast in Hell, either?”  And, if you get that little obscure reference, congratulations on surviving going to youth groups in the 1990s.  Or, sorry about that little flashback, there.  But, anyway…

Yeah, this is a clear-cut example of what I like to call a Stupid Witnessing Trick.  It’s the kind of thing that, though the perpetrator’s heart and motivation were in the right place and full of good intentions, the execution therein falls a bit short, there.  That’s my nice way of saying it.

A bit different from the phenomenon known as the “Jesus Juke” (and I shall touch on that in a future post), a Stupid Witnessing Trick can range from the harmlessly amusing (Testa-Mints, various pop culture rip-offs and whatnot) to insulting to your intelligence (leaving one of those witnessing tracks that looks like money instead of actual money for a tip), to just being obnoxiously jerkish (telling a waitress your group won’t tip because you don’t believe in working on the Lord’s day, or something equally infuriating as such).

In the above picture, certainly the motivation there was obvious: You don’t want to go to Hell, because (among other things) there’s NO WATER!  Oh, and there’s also the eternal separation from God, but NO WATER!  BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!  And probably no breakfast, either.  One has to wonder, though – why not a reference to how Jesus is the Living Water?  Something like, “If you drink from here, you’ll thirst again; but if you drink the Eternal Living Water of Christ, you’ll never thirst again”?  You know, like how Jesus told it to the woman at the well.  A little more Billy Graham, and less Jonathan Edwards to accompany my need for liquid refreshments is all I ask.