children of the corn 666

Dimension
1999
R

“You have faith the planets revolve around the sun, faith that sees become the corn we harvest.”

On a trip to find her birth mother, Hannah Martin picks up a dark stranger who kicks off a mysterious chain of events.  Little does Hanna know that her journey may help fulfill a sinister prophecy made 19 years earlier by Isaac, the cult’s original evil leader!

It is incredibly baffling just how far these sequels to Children Of The Corn have been stretching out.  Baffling because the original Children Of The Corn was mediocre at best. And to tell the truth, I had no interest really in watching any of the other sequels; it’s just that Part 6(66): Isaac’s Return was included in that 20 Horror Movie pack I picked up some time ago, and thus I was obligated to watch it.

*sigh*

Okay, in this groan-inducing titled direct-to-video sixth installment, a young lady named Hannah is headed back to the small Nebraska town Gatlin, location of the original corn cult (ugh), to find her real mother.  Turns out she was the first child born of the child cult, and she’s on her way to get some closure or something.  After encountering a weirdo preacher and crashing into a corn field, she then arrives at the town to discover that the creepy kid from the first flick – Isaac – wasn’t killed by He Who Walks Behind The Rows as originally thought, but has been in a coma all of these years.  and after all of this time decides to emerge from his coma, Hannah encounters the weirdest bunch of townsfolk since Innsmouth, secrets are reviled, the plot thins, wackiness and cliché’s “twist” endings befitting a pointless sequel to such a pointless franchise as this.

Ye gads, this movie was a chore to sit through.  Being released directly to video, on the tail-end of the darkest periods in horror movie history, I’m not surprised in the least.  The pacing is slow, the story kinda going through the motions, nothing scary, nothing thrilling, nothing…uh, nothing worth watching really.  And what was it with Stacy Keetch being in this?  Was he needing the check?  Because…well, he was by default the best thing to happen to this movie.  Otherwise, this just really sucked the time out from under me.  Pass this one up.