Sunday A’La Carte — November 30, 2014

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black fridayHey, everybody. It’s Sunday evening, on the last day of November none-the-less, so it’s time for another helping of brain droppings and general ramblings from your Uncle NecRo, blogger extraordinaire and self-described \,,/METAL DEMIGOD\,,/. Note, I said “demigod”, and not the more blasphemous (and really egotistical) “god”, there. There is a difference, and I invite you to check for yourself what that difference is. But, not until after you’ve finished your blog post reading. And no fair trying to feed this to the dog. Because you can’t. I don’t even know why I brought that up.

complex carbohydratesSpeaking of \,,/METAL\,,/, one of the new time-wasters I’ve stumbled upon on Thanksgiving was the reviewer of one Happy Viking’s Frothy Pint Of Metal. This is a fellow \,,/METALHEAD\,,/, reviewing more obscure but awesome bands—and sometimes movies and television—in a rather entertaining way. Since my OCD dictates that I must watch all of whatever I come across and find amusing, I was able to get through all six pages of his episodes in a day or so, mainly due to each being brief enough to get to the meat of the matter and not linger too long. I would urge any \,,/METALHEAD\,,/ to check it out as well. And yes, I am very much obligated to use the \,,/METAL HORNS\,,/ emoticon and all caps whenever I make reference to the music of awesome.

And also, speaking of anything scarier than a mosh-pit at a Slayer concert, did anyone participate in the yearly blood ceremony known as Black Friday? I never do, personally. I’ve been on the retail end of Black Fridays before, enough to not only sour me on the whole concept of Black Friday sales like this, but like I mentioned in last week’s A’La Carte, humanity is at its true lowest at this point of the year. Regardless, on Thursday (that would have been Thanksgiving), since I had nothing else to do due to my family already having the year’s turkey day gatherings out of the way, I decided to go into town (the one that’s 20 minutes away and has more than just the one gas station) to put gas in the Aluminum Falcon, and then stop by the WalMart to pick up a salad for din-din and replenish my dwindling Mountain Dew stash. That was at 4:30-ish. When I got to Wally World, there were already lots of people camping out inside of the WalMart for some kind of Black Friday kick-off sale that started that night at 6pm. I’m not even going to attempt a logical explanation about that. ‘Twas rather hard trying to maneuver my cart to get my paltry items, with a horde of sale hounds clogging up the isles, staring at that forbidden palate of Buy-One-Get-One Wrangler Jeans and DVD overstock that they can’t touch until the big hand was on the 12 and the little hand was on the 6. Boy, did I need the comfortable seclusion of my crypt. I was down there, completely dark save for the one blood-red candle lit, chanting, “Less than a month, then the evil will be over”.

Did I mention I hate this time of year? I think so, last week. Bears repeating. As many times as possible.

eek black fridayFrom both the Great Band Name and Great \,,/METAL\,,/ Instrument departments: Aztec Death Whistle!

And this one, I don’t think I even need to say much more about, other than reproducing the title of the news piece: WINNIE THE POO BANNED FROM POLISH PLAYGROUND FOR BEING “INAPPROPRIATE HERMAPHRODITE” (and also not wearing pants).

One of the big headline-worthy news stories (at least for the “Trending” column on my Facebook page) was that Snooki—the Hobbit-sized “star” of some kind of reality show, I can’t remember the name of it at the moment—got married in a Great Gatsby-style wedding. And no, I’m not going to provide a link to the news piece, go Google it yourself if you’re curious. I’m not familiar with what I will assume is her Thespian-level of television work, outside of a two- or three-minute cameo on an episode of Supernatural last year that was very painful to watch, but I still bring this up because of the sheer irony of the situation. Not that I’m expecting much for literary understanding from someone whose name sounds like an item on the Applebee’s dessert menu. Then again, my reading list this year has consisted of a bunch of Star Wars and Doctor Who novels, so what do I know?

that's how science worksSpeaking of Star Wars (how’s that for a segue-way?), I’m going to assume you’ve watched the highly anticipated teaser trailer for the upcoming Star Wars The Force Awakens set for 2015. Even if you haven’t, and you have no idea what this “star wars” is (in which case, I congratulate you on your reinsertion into regular society after being locked down in that bomb shelter since 1963), for the sake of this paragraph, I’m going to go ahead and assume (there’s that word again) you have. As predicted, the reactions and write-ups on the interwebs have exploded like a metaphor using something blowing up in a Star Wars movie. My favorite one has been the Angry Joe video. I’ve seen it a few times myself, now (the actual teaser trailer), and my impression of this is…well, it looks like a Star Wars movie. Yeah, I know that’s a lame non-committal statement, but let’s be honest, here—the last time I was really excited about any movie about to be released, Star Wars or not, they always seemed to be a let-down. Except for The Avengers. The Avengers was beyond awesome. So, I’m just going to say that, Disney set out to make a Star Wars movie, and it looks like they succeeded in making a Star Wars movie. As to the awesome-ness of this Star Wars movie, I’m going to have to wait until December of 2015 like everyone else to see if it is. Until then, we have another Avengers movie to get stoked for. See what I did there? It’s called a “call-back”, I’m told.

q&aSTUFF I’VE WRITTEN: Still working on the re-postings onto this one, and this week I manage to stick on my musings on journaling, and also a list of how to know if you’re a Goth or not. As far as movie reviews, there’s ones for the uber-awful Transformations, the awful-but-in-an-awesome-way Trick Or Treat, the just flat out awesome Trick R’ Treat, some ham-fisted socio-political slasher wackiness with The Tripper, one of the few non-nerd rage-y looks at Tron: Legacy, the remake of True Grit, and the direct-to-video animated movie Ultimate Avengers. Then, as far as music reviews go, I review a Holy Blood album here, a couple of Holy Solider albums here and here, something by House Of Wires here, a couple of Horde albums here and here, something by Hope Has Failed Us here, Industry Eleven’s album here, Incrave here, Impending Doom here, Illuminanti here, and Independent Opposition here.

Free Hugs CaveThat’s all for this week. Next week I get a three-day weekend, on account I took a day off to commemorate my day of birth. I’m not going to say what day this week it is. Just know that the \,,/METAL DEMIGOD\,,/ demands a sacrifice of cake to appease his awesomeness. I leave you all now with the only birthday song I will allow in my earholes. God bless, my wonderful freaks.


Sunday A’La Carte – August 24, 2014

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rogue black holeSunday again. Gotta tell you, this weekend really sucked. Sucked so hard, light could not escape its gravitational pull, kinda sucking. And there doesn’t seem to be much end in sight. So I’ll just get right to it, here.

I attended the funeral of another cousin yesterday. If I say he was far too young, it’s because he was far too young. I understand that everyone says that about everyone; in this case, he was only 42, a scant two years older than myself. And his older brother died from cancer when he was only 40, about four years ago prior. In cases like this, I always feel like it’s my civic duty (in a manner of speaking) to just be there, not really say anything and grieve the best way possible, without bringing others down around with me. I don’t try and say the right thing, because really, who can? And I certainly will never, ever use those tired old bumper sticker platitudes that people use that think mean something, but don’t. Things like, “God has a plan”, or “When God closes a door, he opens another one”, or “Here’s a casserole, I’ll just put it with the others.” Okay, maybe that last one has nothing to do with stupid pat statements said to the grieving. There’s only so much green bean casserole you can accept before things star getting awkward, though. Now I’m rambling. Sorry. Point is, goodbye Jerry. I shall eulogize you in upcoming days, give or take. Still trying to get my jumbled thoughts together on that one.

if silence looks away from a weeping angelThis weekend was also the weekend of a new Doctor Who episode. Yesterday (that being Saturday, August 23rd for those of you playing at home), after having been on holiday since the 2013 Christmas Special, which saw Matt Smith’s 11th Doctor regenerate into Peter Capaldi’s 12th Doctor at the end, the Eight Season had finally arrived, and Whovians everywhere gathered to watch the 80 minute premier of “Deep Breath”. I waited until today to watch it, along with my Nephew/Godson, because who else am I going to watch it with? It’s not like I have anyone special to share this interest with anymore. Overall, I found this kick-off episode introducing the new Doctor…interesting. I may have to rewatch the episode, because there was some competition coming from a younger nephew that wanted to play loudly, and a bunch of puppies still trying to be weaned off of the mama doggie. But, here’s some randumb thoughts I had:

–I wonder if the whole Clara having trouble coming to grips with the much older-looking Doctor after so much time with a much younger Doctor (the bad age makeup in The Time Of The Doctor notwithstanding) was a kind-of dig at the New-vian fangirls who were whining about Capaldi being the Doctor instead of some other hunky something-or-other? I like to think it is.
–Strax complementing Clara on her spleen. Comedy gold.
–I’m sorry, but are you two married? I’m afraid I didn’t get it the first five or six times you obligatorily said that. What was that definition of Ad Nausium, again?
–So, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t there a reference some time ago that the actual weight of the TARDIS was (scientifically speaking) a whole bunch of tons? Does that “Relative Dimensions” part also mean that it somehow doesn’t translate to the exterior? I know it’s just a show, but…it’s a question that has nagged me in many episodes that feature the transport of the TARDIS, and today it made me wonder, “Why isn’t that wagon busted under the weight? And how did they manage to get it up on there without several Victorian-era hernias suffered?” I’m thinking too much about this.
–THE DOCTOR HAS A SCOTTISH ACCENT! Okay, I’ll take the Caps Lock off, now.
–an Ed Gein-inspired hot air balloon? Gotta admit, that’s kinda dark, even for me.
–it may have been the ranting speculations due to the post-regeneration madness, but I can’t be the only one thinking that the Doctor questioning how he came about this face has some kind of tie-in with “The Fires of Pompeii”, can I? Or am I over-thinking things again?
–CALLBACK TO “THE TIME OF THE DOCTOR”! That’s the last time I’ll do that, I promise.
–Huh…scary-looking crazy lady calling The Doctor her “boyfriend”. Say hello to this season’s over-arching mystery tie-in, folks.
–hey, second episode, and they’re already bringin’ out the Daleks.

like your autobiographyDidn’t do a lot of reading this week (see the paragraph at the beginning of this post), but I am going through Spawn of the Winds, an earlier Brian Lumley novel, featuring his take on the Elder Gods mythos, and his supernatural investigator-type Titus Crow. I think. So far, it’s just narration from a bunch of guys in a plane that were abducted by some nasty pseudo-deity named Ithaquoa or something or other.

loopSTUFF I’VE WRITTEN: Not too much this week, again, other than reviews of three Daniel Amos albums: Daniel Amos, Shotgun Angel, and MotorCycle. What can I say, other than my mind has been preoccupied with the goings-on and such.

STUFF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE WRITTEN: Found this rather interesting piece from the online Relevant Magazine site, about the Bible and profanity. Nicely done, gents.

kirk and spock 2014Time for me to take my leave. Get my beauty rest and all that. Another week ahead of me. So, I leave you all now with the Star Wars: The Radio Play, as it brought a much-needed laugh to my lips today, after so many days of oppressive sorrow. Cheers.


Sunday A’La Carte – August 17, 2014

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where trees go when they're badHey hey, it’s Sunday again. I don’t know about you, but it’s been a rather stressful weekend so far. The week prior has been okay, really. But the weekend? Full of good, full of bad. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I played around with skipping this week’s A’La Carte, but then I realized that doing so would probably be counter-productive. I’ll leave it at that. So, on with the post…

I don’t know about you, but Jack Chick represents probably the best in Christian Cheese. If you don’t recognize the name, you might recognize his Christian tracts, done up as little mini-comics to present his ultra-Fundamentalist views on things like the end times, Catholics, New Age, Christian Rock, Halloween, and so forth and so on. I love them in the same way I love the movie Birdemic. So, it fills me with great…opposite of despair and sorrow to learn that there’s been a live-action movie made based on the Dungeons & Dragons-equals-Satanism tract Dark Dungeons. Yup, gonna be seeing this one. Hope it’s going to get a theatrical release.

Here’s a bunch of pictures of METAL singers with hotdogs photoshopped in where their mics are supposed to be. These are awesome. Look at them, I implore you.

On Friday, before I went home, I picked up some take-out at one of the near-by Chinese buffets, and the check-out girl stuck a fistful of fortune cookies into my bag. After I just wrote that, I realized that “Fistful of Fortune Cookies” would make a great band name. Anyway, that means that I have five fortune cookie messages to riff on:
– “Unveil your ideas. Be ready to act on them.”
…and be sure to get some burn creme for the inevitable backlash.

– “An unexpected payment is coming your way!”
…I can only presume this means that something is going to happen that will necessitate me parting with money, probably in the form of fixing the Aluminium Falcon, or health reasons. Either way, was the exclamation point really called for?

– “You are admired for your impeccable tastes.”
…if by “admired” you mean “ridiculed” and “misunderstood”, then yes, you are right on the money, cookie.

– “On Friday your creative side will shine forth with exceptional ideas.”
…thanks for the warning. I’m sure the higher-ups at work will take every precaution to keep this “creativity” from messing up the flow of things.

– “Your fondest dream will come true within this year.”
…really? There’s plans of bringing back Mountain Dew Black in diet form? Excellent.

most amazing pumpkinLet’s see, stuff I wrote about this week: I reviewed albums by Vomitorial Corpulence and Inevitable End, read and reviewed the Doctor Who novel Last of the Gaderene, mused a bit about my history watching 1998’s Godzilla, and mourned the passing of a pop culture icon.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I do need to hit the sack a bit earlier than usual. Something tells me it’s going to be an eventful week (something I’m going to expound on a bit more, trust me). In the meantime, I leave you with a Robin Williams Video Tribute. Cheers.