Remembering the Great Junk Food Wars of 2012...It’s been a few years now, I believe, since this amusing set of circumstances started. I can’t recall whether it was the Oreo cookie that fired the first shot, or the Chick-Fil-A chain of fast food chicken sammiches, but the Great Cold War of the Early 21st Century is still going pretty…strong? Is that the correct word to use? Maybe it’s my lack of actually caring either way, but I don’t know if people are still being polarized about whatever stigma they assign to what. And up to now, I’ve been successful in maintaining my distance, my neutrality if you will, and take all these goings on in with the same and equal amount of critical satire this whole farce is leading up to.

And quite frankly, I don’t feel the need to weigh in. To take sides as explicitly as everyone seems to think we all should. I’m usually weary of anything that the media decides is what they’re going to saturate all of us with, and this whole thing is no different.

You might be saying to yourself there, “Hey, aren’t you a Christian, Uncle NecRo? Shouldn’t you be siding with the Chick-Fil-A crowd?” And if you’re saying that out loud, chances are you look rather ridiculous, so please stop. Yes, I am a Christian. Gave my life to Christ Jesus in 1989, came out of the closet as a Christian in 1992 (to borrow a phrase from the gay community, there…you can have our rainbows, if we can at least use some of your stuff, okay?), and have been unashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ ever since. I’m not perfect by any means, but that’s another blog post for another day. Just wanted to make sure we’re very very clear on this point before I continue on with the ramblings.

Also…must resist urge to quote from Animaniacs…harder than it looks…

Quite frankly, I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re boycotting Chick-Fil-A, and giving all of your time and money to either KFC, Popeye’s, or whatever else chicken chain is out there. Is El Pollo Loco still a thing? Anyway, I also don’t care if you’ve sworn off of Oreo cookies, opting instead to waste your money on those nasty Oreo knock-off brands that aren’t even close to being an Oreo, but apparently are good enough to feed your children in every Vacation Bible School in America, along with copious amounts of watered-down “orange drink”. And I’m sure I just triggered a bunch of childhood acid flashbacks there. You’re welcome.

This isn’t my first rodeo, peeps. I recall waaaaaaay back to my childhood, when my church was passing around a petition to keep The Last Temptation Of Christ from being played at the Fremont cinemas. That’s Fremont, Nebraska to those of you who’ve never stepped foot outside of California, there (I hear it’s nice). And yes, I admit I got caught up in that whole “Boycott Disney” thing in the 1990s. Par for the course. Time and temperament has given me more of a stay back and watch how this all plays out mentality about these things. And why is that?

Because I really have better things to do than give in to guilt and manipulation into causes that I really don’t think are that effective to begin with. Look at the image I decided to use up there. You can clicky-click on it to make it larger and read. See that? I think it’s way too easy for us American Christians, and Americans in general, to be caught up in caught up in causes that, while noble in origin, the execution of which leaves something to be desired. That’s why we have idiotic things like “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” (you can thank Mike Huckabee for that; fortunately, I didn’t get the memo), and the much more amusing-sounding “Suck Face With The Same Gender In Front Of A Chick-Fil-A Day” (I totally made the name up, but it actually was a thing, I swear).

I’ve decided a long while back that trying to be a good influence and positive male role model for my nephews was far more important. I find myself concerned more for serving others, which grows year by year, as imperfect a servant I am. I’m far more concerned with my own sinful wretch of a self, which is the result of the Holy Spirit growing closer, and clinging to the Grace that GOD gave us all through Christ Jesus. I am definitely far more concerned about letting my friends, associates and family members (and enemies, though I have no idea who they are) who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender and whatever else I’m forgetting on account of the caffeine finally beginning to wear off, know that, not only is it possible for us to disagree entirely with each other concerning this and still respect and love each other, but even if you curse me, seek to destroy me, beat me down and never ever give your own life to Christ Jesus yourself, I will still serve you unconditionally, because the Holy Spirit within me compels me to do so. I have no choice in the matter. Believe me, I’ve tried to find ways out of it.

So, believe me when I say, I probably will never eat at a Chick-Fil-A again any time soon. Not because of some shallow political posturing, but because KFC is way more METAL than any chicken shop out there.