Movie Review: OUIJA: Origin Of Evil

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movie-review-ouija-origin-of-evilUniversal Pictures
2016
PG-13

“Do you know what it feels like to be strangled to death? First, you feel the pressure in your throat. Your eyes water, and you start to taste something very, very sour in your mouth. Then it’s like someone lights a match right in the middle of your chest, and that fire grows. It fills your lungs, and your throat, and all the way behind your eyes. And finally, that fire turns to ice; like pins and needles of ice are sticking into your fingers, your toes, your arms. You see stars, then darkness. And the last thing you feel… is cold. Goodnight, Romeo.”

In 1967 Los Angeles, widowed mother Alice Zander unwittingly invites authentic evil into her home by adding a new stunt to bolster her seance scam business. When the merciless spirit overtakes her youngest daughter Doris, the small family must confront unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.

So, it seems that, despite Ouija being something of a dull snoozefest of a horror movie, the demographic it was aimed at with its PG-13 rating (young teenagers looking for Junior Thrills to feel all edgy and adult-like and stuff) still went out and made it a bunch of money, warranting a green-light for a sequel. Or something like that. That’s the only way I can rationalize something like Ouija getting a sequel made in the first place. It happens all the time, and that’s what is said about it to justify a sequel, “it made money”.

Control yourself, Uncle NecRo. Deep breaths. Don’t want to spend the entirety of this review lamenting how mediocre movies are more popular than actual good horror movies that remain and languish in obscure cult status. You’re here to talk about the sequel to Ouija that is really a prequel to the story in Ouija.

As you can imagine, I wasn’t looking forward to Ouija: Origin Of Evil. Even though I watched it back-to-back with Ouija as part of my standard Weekend of Horror/Sci-Fi Marathon, after watching the first one, I was sorely tempted to find an alternate title to cleanse the taste of mediocrity from my brain. Fortunately, though, Ouija: Origin Of Evil managed to do that by itself, just by being a vastly better movie than its predecessor.

Ouija: Origin Of Evil is a prequel to Ouija, in that it tells the story of the family that lived in the house previous to the characters in the first one, and how the titular board game came to touch their lives with whimsy and wonder by way of black magic.

Set in the 1960s, Alice, a single mother, is struggling to make ends meet to keep a roof over the heads of her and her two daughters, teenager Lina and grade schooler Doris. She does this by holding seances and other things that self-employed psychics do out of her house, most of which are, in fact, illusions and tricks employed to make the clients think they’re making contact with the other side.

You can probably see where this is going, but bear with me, here.

One night, after sneaking out of the house for a intimate shindig with friends, the oldest daughter plays the Ouija board for the first time (ending up with hilarious results), and suggests to her mother that they add it to their act to pump things up a notch. And so she does. And upon taking it out for a spin the first time, seems to unleash an entity that’s been tied to the house for decades before Alice and her minions took over residence. Or, as it turns out, a whole bunch of entities that have been stuck in the house due to a Nazi war criminal. Yeah, it’s always has to do with Nazis, doesn’t it. Anyway, one particularly nasty one takes possession of Doris, which leads to a whole bunch of creepy and downright bone-chilling supernatural shenanigans, which lead up to a bunch of other possessions and deaths that help set up that one scene in the first one that turned out to be the best part of that movie. Post-credit scene cameo from the Doris from the first movie, and booya, a far superior movie has been experienced.

Look, I know the why and the how Origin Of Evil is the vastly superior Ouija movie. This time around, there was a good script, a very good cast, which included one of the most convincing Creepy Child actors I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting creeped out at while watching this. Seriously, whether it was her staring at someone while smiling with an off-putting vibe, or cheerily describing to someone what it feels like to be choked to death (in one of the more amusing scenes, because she was playing with the head of her older sister’s would-be boyfriend), or gradually going all Evil Dead in the background shadows…yeah, that kid has made my Top 5 list of favorite Creepy Child characters. Maybe one day I shall share it with you. But for now, let’s finish up this review.

If you were given the choice between seeing only one of the (so far) two Ouija movies, I would strongly urge you to watch this one: Origin Of Evil. It’s a horror movie that does everything right, with minimalist effort. In other words, it seems that everyone involved learned their lesson from the first movie. Either way, check this one out, as it’s strongly recommended from your Uncle NecRo.

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Movie Review: OUIJA

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movie-review-ouijaUniversal Pictures
2014
PG-13

How are you even supposed to talk to someone using a board game? I mean, yo, can you hear me? Signal’s real bad. I only got, like, one bar in here.

In Ouija, a group of friends must confront their most terrifying fears when they awaken the dark powers of an ancient spirit board.

I remember over two years ago, sitting in the theater, awaiting the start of the movie Annabelle, and halfheartedly watching the previews that were playing leading up to it. One of those previews was for Ouija, which to me looked exactly like the kind of upcoming horror movie that I was going to pretty much skip when it was in the theaters, and maybe watch on DVD or streaming or something in the future. Maybe not the near future. But some time. I promise. Then it was released, and the general consensus confirmed my predictions that Ouija was a movie I could skip, and watch when I have nothing better to do. Or when I feel like doing my weekend Bad Horror/Sci-Fi-A-Thon. Which I did recently, along with the sequel. Because of course they made a sequel to this mediocre snore-fest.

Yeah, Ouija is one of those “horror” movies that is (not surprisingly) lacking in personality from both the cast and the execution of the scary bits. But, I’m getting ahead of myself, here.

The story of Ouija plays out like the classic commercial for the board game (because this is technically a movie based on a board game, like Battleship), wherein we start with a couple of girls playing with an old version of the Ouija board, constantly asking, “It’s just a game, right?” like the commercials always did. Yeah, I remember those. I’m old, remember? Here they read off the rule sheet and proceed to summon the unholy minions of the Dark Lord. No, kidding, that would have made this a good movie. Actually, they play with the board, which causes time to fast forward to when the girls are now teenagers, one of which is clearly finishing up a solo play with the Ouija board, followed by tossing it into the fireplace to burn. Of course, this doesn’t destroy the thing, as it reappears a few minutes later, after causing a bit of boo-scare wackiness in the kitchen. The girl hangs herself, cut to opening credits, and then we’re treated to a ninety-minute barely scary horror movie that plays more like a badly made young adult evening soap opera on the CW, with a plot that lifted from pretty much every supernatural-based prime time show that’s several times better than this movie.

I’d describe the rest of the story, but it’s not something that hasn’t been done before: Besties to dead girl decide it wasn’t suicide, makes the leap that it involves the Ouija board, uses said Ouija board to make contact with girl, instead gets in touch with another spirit with malevolent intent, there’s an insane Older Sister that does a bit of subterfuge in the guise of “helping”, then the Magic Wise Grandma who only appears a grand total of three times, for a couple of minutes each, to dispense the real method of defeating the malevolent spirit (hint: in involves a method that made me expect the Winchester brothers to show up at any minute), and the whole thing ends with what a friend of mine pointed out while I was live commenting on FaceBook should have been a “The End…OR IS IT?!?” Well, clearly not the end, seeing as how they did a prequel sequel, but I’m getting ahead of myself again.

Overall, I would say that Ouija is neither a good nor a bad movie, just a “meh” kind of forgettable movie that has some good ideas going, but the execution is uninspired and relies too heavily on the same old formula with the same old non-scares, which leads to the audience being as bored as the actors’ collective performance.