AUGUST 17: I’ve got two turn tables and a Meat Lover’s with extra cheese…

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But “he who glories, let him glory in the Lord.” For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends. – 2 Corinthians 10:17-18

Sometimes I wish I knew how to go crazy. I forget how.

Also, this is apparently a thing in the UK:

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve consumed a pizza and then thought to myself, “Self, I wish I could really spin some jams” but never could.

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30 Randumb Things You May Or May Not Know About Me

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30 Randumb Things You May Or May Not Know About MeThis happens to be the result of one of those “tagged” notes from Face Book that a friend sent me…yeah, I like to do those once in a while, as it sometimes forces me to flex my oft-dormant writing muscles to think of something to say…which hasn’t been happening here for a while, so I thought I’d repost the list in lieu of something substantial to say…enjoy…

1. Every car I’ve owned since the Festiva have had a name…the current one is referred to as the Aluminium Falcon…

2. My current favorite cookie: Snickerdoodle…

3. I’ve often fantasized about living in an old Victorian house, with many rooms and sub-basements…and secret passageways…

4. Whenever someone asks me what my “Life Verse” in the Bible is, I tell them “1 Samuel 18:27.” Just to see the reaction…

5. Sometimes, I just gotta crank up the song “The Final Countdown” and sing along at the top of my lungs while driving…

6. Since there’s not going to be any more Mountain Dew Black in the foreseeable future, I’ve taken to mixing Mountain Dew with grape soda…

7. Favorite soup: Tomato…

8. I never considered NECRO SHOCK RADIO to be a “ministry”…

9. For that matter, I consider the word “ministry” to be vastly overused in Evangelical Christianity…

10. I don’t consider singing along to a bunch of CCM songs as “worship”…as such I don’t participate much beyond standing and praying silently until it’s over…

11. I strongly believe that art should never be safe…not vulgar for vulgarity sake, but dangerous and thought-provoking…

12. More Christians need to get involved in the horror genre…and not suck at it…

13. Unless I know you, chances are I will not shake your hand, hug you, make idle chit-chat, or “hang out” as it were…give me time to warm up to you, it might take a great while…

14. I like to make eye contact whenever I can…the whole “windows to the soul” is very true…

15. I don’t try to be weird…I just am…sadly, this isn’t a boast…

16. Sesame Street jumped the shark the moment everyone discovered that Mr. Snuffleupagus was real and not just a figment of Big Bird’s imagination…

17. Biggest irrational fear: Dolls…

18. I find myself at my most creative and contemplative when I’m depressed and brooding…

19. I have a high appreciation of Classical music, in its various periods and forms…

20. I like to shout random non sequiturs, especially at work when things get too quiet…

21. Any given day, I can crank out at least five different pop culture quotes and references, mostly from sci-fi and cartoon geekery…

22. Personally, I’m rather tired of people telling me I need to be delivered from demons, when my problems really stems from my own rebellion, stupidity, and self will getting in my way of my walk with Christ Jesus…

23. I would say most of my friends are not Christians; matter of fact, you could probably say I hang out with a lot of “sinners and tax collectors”…well, maybe not tax collectors, even I have my standards 😉

24. I don’t know who started the whole “Rick Rolling” thing, but they must be found and subjected to the worst possible torture, followed by a slow, agonizing death…

25. My idea of a perfect date involves cuddling on the couch, a big bowl of popcorn, and the original Star Wars trilogy, back-to-back…

26. Though I lived through it, and even graduated High School and made it through most of the 1990s without it, I can’t for the life of me remember how I managed to survive without the Internet…

27. I seriously think that scientists should get to work creating actual working lightsabers…and speeder bikes…and teleporters…okay, maybe we can hold off on teleporters, I kinda side with Dr. McCoy on those…

28. I got seriously cheesed off the day they declared Pluto as not a real planet…whatever…it’ll always be a real planet to me…

29. Becoming an Uncle has changed me…I wouldn’t trade it for the world, really…

30. I gave up on Christianity a long while back, and my life as a Christian has benefited greatly for it…

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What Your Drink Order Says About You

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What Your Drink Order Says About YouI already know a lot about you just by listening to your drink order. Here are a few harsh and unfair generalizations.

Tap Water
You probably just finished hiking or doing some sort of outdoor activity. You’d prefer the waiter to just fill up your Nalgene, but since health regulations won’t allow it, you’ll settle for the glass. If you find a curly hair in your food, you simply move it to the side and keep eating. If it were socially acceptable, you’d pee in the parking lot on the way to your Subaru Outback (to prevent backtracking). You still don’t own a cell phone.

Water with Lemon
You wouldn’t dare taint your palate with regular water. This teaspoon-sized lemon squirt makes you feel better about yourself, and better than that imbecile (mentioned above) who went lemon-less. If you’re a man, your shirt is currently tucked in. If you’re a woman, you’re wearing lip gloss and drinking from a straw. You swear you can tell the difference between Dasani and Aquafina.

Diet Coke
The word “diet” gives you the same warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you see “No Trans Fat!” printed on a pizza box. It doesn’t feel healthy, but you’re certain it has to be. You tell people it tastes better than The Real Thing, but deep down you know you’re lying to yourself. You love 100-calorie snack packs and Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. You own a Gazelle.

Half Diet, Half Regular
You get what you want, when you want it. You’re convinced Coke “got it all wrong” and that you’ve found the perfect blend. Little do you know, you’re drinking 49% diet, 49% regular, and 2% snot rocket from the waiter who is tired of high-maintenance people like you. You’re pissed when your maid doesn’t put enough starch in your pleated khakis. Everyone is well aware of where you stand politically.

Fanta Orange
You’re still at kid at heart. You request a bendy straw, even though you’re in the middle of a meeting with your financial advisor trying to learn the meaning of interest. Your ABC gum is stored on the corner of your plate for later. You spend two-thirds of your day at work with Oreos caked in the corners of your mouth. You play World of Warcraft and are acting commissioner in a fantasy league for Madden ’10.

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