Movies+Beer: JOHN WICK 3

Leave a comment

john wick 3 banner

Join with Exalted Geeks Brian, Jacob, James Classic and some other guy as they discuss the newest John Wick movie…does it hold up to the other movies? Plus, Brian has some words about this season of Game Of Thrones, and a bit on the upcoming movies on the docket…

Movies+Beer Pubcast: DETECTIVE PIKACHU

Leave a comment

detective pikachu

James is joined by Brian, Andrea, Jacob, Everett and Sarah to discuss the live-action Pokemon movie, Detective Pikachu. Was it good? Was it merely fan wankery? Do the Exalted Geeks go down several rabbit trails during the discussion of the movie? Listen in and find out…

Movies+Beer: SHAZAM!

Leave a comment

shazam

Bit late getting this uploaded; I’m joined by Brian, Andrea and New Guy to discuss the other Captain Marvel movie to come out this year…

Movies + Beer: HELLBOY 2019

Leave a comment

MOVIES + BEERhellboy 2019

James is joined by Brian and Andrea at Sean O’ Casey’s, and discuss the new Hellboy reboot…among other things…

::END TRANSMISSION::

Movie Review: LASER MISSION

Leave a comment

laser missionTurner home Entertainment
1989
R

“You are fond of birds.

Mercenary Michael Gold is sent from the CIA to seize the laser expert Braun in Cuba before the KGB catches him. A recently stolen giant diamond could be used together with Braun’s knowledge to construct a laser cannon which could bring power over the whole world. Who will succeed: CIA or KGB–or none of them?

Brandon Lee is probably best known as the famed actor son of martial arts legend Bruce Lee, who died tragically from an on-set accident while filming 1994’s The Crow. That movie was reportedly going to be the start of bigger lead roles for the actor, who, up to then, starred in a bunch of low-budget action movies. Like this one, Laser Mission.

Released direct-to-video in 1989, Laser Mission is only half right with the title, as it does feature a mission–Lee’s mercenary character needing to find and get Ernest Borgnine with a bad accent before the godless Commies do, to stop the building of a weapon of mass destruction–but disappointingly, there are no lasers. Well, there’s a laser-guided motion detector…but, co’mon. Show me someone who wasn’t expecting the *pew-pew* kind of lasers when seeing the movie’s title, and I’ll show you someone who’s lying. Not even the movie’s theme song bothered with either the words “laser” or “mission”. Nope, it’s a song called “Mercenary Man”, played ad-nausium throughout the runtime.

Anyway, what we actually got is a bunch of walking around in a desert while he bickers with Dr. Braun’s daughter, interspersed with action scenes to showcase Lee’s martial arts skills, as well as more bickering with Dr. Braun’s daughter. All that bickering, it’s no surprise that they end up falling for each other near the end of the flick. Because them’s the rules of action movie romances. At least the movie ends with the bad guy getting hit by a truck. So it’s not entirely a loss, really.

What really saves Laser Mission from being completely horrible is Lee’s acting. He seems to know this is going to be a stinker, and he really chews the scenes, having fun with the role. Otherwise, the cheesiness is pretty high with this movie. Make sure you have any cinematic lactose intolerance in check before heading into this Laser-less Mission.

Movie Review: SILENT RAGE

Leave a comment

silent rageColumbia Pictures
1982
R

“I don’t care if he killed one hundred people. We are scientists, not moralists.”

He’s an indestructible man fused with powers beyond comprehension. An unstoppable¬†terror who in one final showdown will push Chuck Norris to his limits, and beyond. A mentally ill man in a small Texas town goes on a killing rampage and is fatally wounded by police. When doctors use an experimental serum to bring him back to life, the killer develops superhuman strength and the town sherriff must pursue him.

Here’s a Fun Fact that will probably have certain people (you know who you are) question everything they thought they knew about their Uncle NecRo: I’m not a fan of Chuck Norris. He’s never piqued my interest as much as Schwarzenegger, or Stallone has, as far as 80s-era classic action movie stars go. If anything, I’m really more interested in Chuck Norris as a meme generator than a movie and television star.

So, you can imagine how bored/doped up I was, back when I was recouping after amputation surgery, when I decided to give Norris’ 1982 flick Silent Rage a watch. You see, the description on the streaming site I watched this on made this movie sound like he was going up against a zombie. Any crappy action movie can be made better with the inclusion of a zombie. They’re like the peanut butter of the B-movie world.

Well, I was a bit off. This wasn’t so much a zombie he goes up against, as it is a kind of Frankenstein’s monster. If even that. You see, the body of the serial killer guy Norris’s Texas lawman is pitted against is on the verge of death when a scientist pumps him full of an experimental chemical and brings him back with SCIENCE! This only turns him into a rage-filled killer, and of course he escapes and the wackiness does ensue.

Silent Rage is mindless drivel. No pun intended, there. The acting is about as wooden as it gets, Chuck Norris has the charisma of a practice dummy, and certain scenes were obviously shoehorned in to both pad out the running time, and to showcase Norris’ martial arts fighting skizzles. This is definitely a movie that could have benefited from a zombie apocalypse subplot. Maybe if you pretend this is a prequel to his Walker: Texas Ranger series, you might get some enjoyment out of this. Even on all of those painkillers, the only “silent rage” that was experienced was what I felt when this movie ended. Hard pass.

Movie Review: The DARKEST MINDS

Leave a comment

darkest minds20th Century Fox
2018
PG-13

When teens mysteriously develop powerful new abilities, they are declared a threat by the government and detained. Sixteen-year-old Ruby, one of the most powerful young people anyone has encountered, escapes her camp and joins a group of runaway teens seeking a safe haven. Soon this newfound family realizes that, in a world in which the adults in power have betrayed them, running is not enough and thy must wage a resistance, using their collective power to take back control of their future.

So, back in April of 2018, we were supposed to have an X-Men spinoff movie, one that wasn’t necessarily tied into th franchise proper, but promised to be more of a horror movie with its story of mutant children being terrorized by the normies. I couldn’t wait to see this movie. But then, news came that the studio decided to pull that movie and push it for over a year later, because…reasons. Whatever, no X-Men horror movie. So, instead of that movie, that same year we got a movie that has nothing to do with the X-Men franchise, but is totally an X-Men story: The Darkest Minds.

Or, more to the point, X-Men Lite. If you want to be kind of jaded about it. For a more, shall we say, optimistic spin, this would be X-Men for th modern YA crowd. Meaning, we have a story here that requires very little investment in thinking about, stock characters we’ve seen before in other YA sci-fi action movies like this, plot beats you could see coming from low space orbit…but, despite all that, I did find myself enjoying this on a certain level.

Keeping in mind that I probably wasn’t the target demographic The Darkest Minds was aiming for, I realize that this could have been far more worse than what we ended up with. The Darkest Minds is a decent movie; it did keep my attention, the effects were pretty good, and the way it was shot was gorgeous.

Overall, The Darkest Minds is what it is: A movie about teenagers with powers going up against adults who misunderstand and fear them. There might be a hamfisted metaphor there, I think. Anyway, not a bad way to kill some time on a rainy afternoon. One and done viewing, for me.

Older Entries